Josh Hatcher
Posts by Josh Hatcher:
How to get a good woman: be a better man
Looking for the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? Tired of being alone? Obviously, I can’t guarantee or promise anything… but I can tell you what mindsets you need to adjust in order to find a good woman.
The first step in finding a good woman has nothing to do with a woman at all. It has to do with yourself. While it sucks to feel alone, and the temptation is to find something to fill that void, we must rise above our feelings to deal with the bigger problem.
If you want to find a good woman, you must make sure that you are the kind of man that a good woman wants.
Take some time to do some honest self-evaluation.
Are you taking care of your body? (Bathing, Grooming, Eating right, Working out, etc.)
Women aren’t going to be attracted to a slob. I’m not saying you have to look like Andrew Garfield. I’m just saying that if you expect to find a woman, she doesn’t want to smell oniony arm-pits, kiss brown teeth, or be with a guy that will eventually weigh 600 pounds.
Are you investing in your self-improvement?
What books / blogs / podcasts / etc are you ingesting in order to grow as a better man? What skills are you honing? What steps are you taking to grow?
What kind of relationships do you have?
Are you cultivating good relationships with your family? Do you have baby-mama drama? Do you have a string of exes who hate you? Do you have good friends in your life who help you improve, and who have your back? Do you hang around a bunch of low-life’s who treat you or others badly?
What kind of job do you have?
While we may life in an age of the working woman, I am convinced that most women do want to know that a partner will be able to provide her economic security. Your job doesn’t have to be a job that makes you rich, but is it a secure job? Does it provide for your needs? Is it heading in the direction of your career, or at least providing the cash you need to build your future?
What hobbies do you have?
Do these hobbies relieve stress, or create stress? Are they productive hobbies, or passive hobbies? Do they allow room for a woman to join you? Do they help recharge you?
I have found that if you work on yourself first, you’ll find satisfaction in your own personal growth, and then have less need of a woman to satisfy you, first of all. But you’ll also be prepared and better equipped to raise the caliber of the kind of woman that would be interested in you.
Take the time to build your own character, skills, career, and do it for you – not for her. That makes you more a more attractive and competent mate.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – #mancrushmonday
Every Monday At Manlihood.com – we celebrate men of courage, valor, creativity, innovation, and honor. We celebrate men who have accomplished great things, that have set good examples, and then have made the world a better place. This is #mancrushmonday
Pro-wrestler and actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson isn’t just a larger than life entertainer – he’s truly an inspirational man, who works hard to be a man with character and to make life better for the men around him.
Here’s his story according to Wikipedia:
Dwayne Douglas Johnson (born May 2, 1972), also known by his ring name The Rock, is a Canadian-American actor, producer, and professional wrestler currently signed to WWE.
Johnson was a college football player for the University of Miami, winning a national championship on the 1991 Miami Hurricanes football team. He later played for the Calgary Stampeders in the Canadian Football League, and was cut two months into the 1995 season. This led him to become a professional wrestler like his grandfather, Peter Maivia, and his father, Rocky Johnson (from whom he also inherited his Canadian citizenship).[8]
Johnson gained mainstream fame in the World Wrestling Federation (WWF/E) from 1996 to 2004 as a major figure in the company’s Attitude Era, and was the first third-generation wrestler in the company’s history. He returned to wrestling part-time for WWE from 2011 to 2013 and continues to make sporadic non-wrestling appearances for the company. As of November 2016, Johnson has had 17 championship reigns in WWE, including 10 as a world champion, winning the WWF/E Championship eight times (seventh reign was as WWE Undisputed Champion) and the WCW/World Championship twice. He won the Intercontinental Championship twice and the WWF Tag Team Championship five times. Johnson is the sixth Triple Crown Champion in WWE history, and won the 2000 Royal Rumble. He is widely regarded as one of the greatest pro wrestlers of all time.[9]
Johnson’s autobiography The Rock Says…, co-written with Joe Layden, was published in 2000. It debuted at No. 1 on The New York Times Best Seller list, spent 20 weeks on The New York Times bestseller list and sold 720,000 copies in hardcover alone.[10][11] Johnson’s first leading film role was in The Scorpion King in 2002. For this role, he was paid US $5.5 million, a world record for an actor in his first starring role.[12] He has since appeared in various films, and become known for his ability to reinvigorate film franchises. Perhaps his greatest success in his acting career can be sourced to his role as Luke Hobbs in The Fast and the Furious franchise. He hosted and produced The Hero, a reality competition series; and has since continued to produce TV series and films through his production company Seven Bucks Productions, each of which he also stars in. Forbes listed Dwayne Johnson #25 in the Top 100 Most Powerful Celebrities in 2013.[13] He is the world’s highest-paid actor of 2016.[14] Time named him one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2016.[15] In 2015, Muscle & Fitness named Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as their “Man of the Century.”[16]
Check out these amazing motivational quotes from “The Rock”
“All successes begin with Self-Discipline. It starts with you.”
“Don’t be afraid to be ambitious about your goals. Hard work never stops. Neither should your dreams.”
“Grind Hard, Shine Hard.”
“I like to use the hard times of the past to motivate me today.”
“Not only do I think being nice and kind is easy, but being kind, in my opinion is important.”
“One of the most important things you can accomplish is just being yourself.”
“The first step to achieving your goal, is to take a moment to respect your goal. Know what it means to you to achieve it.”
“The wall! Your success is on the other side. Can’t jump over it or go around it. You know what to do.”
“There is no substitute for hardwork. Always be humble and hungry.”
“Wake up determined. Go to bed satisfied.”
“We do today what they won’t, so tomorrow we accomplish what they can’t.”
When life puts you in touch situations, don’t say “Why Me?” Just say “Try Me.”
“When you walk up to opportunities door, don’t knock it… Kick that b!tch in, smile and introduce yourself.” – Dwayne Johnson
“With drive and a bit of talent, you can move mountains.” – Dwayne Johnson
“You don’t need directions, just point yourself to the top and go!” – Dwayne Johnson
“Be the person that when your feet touch the floor in the morning the devil says, “awe s***.. they’re up”. – Dwayne Johnson
“If something stands between you and your success – move it. Never be denied.” – Dwayne Johnson
“In 1995 I had $7 bucks in my pocket and knew two things: I’m broke as hell and one day I won’t be.” – Dwayne Johnson
“Success at anything will always come down to this: focus & effort. And we control both.” – Dwayne Johnson
“Success isn’t always about ‘Greatness’, it’s about consistency. Consistent, hard work gains success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson
“Success isn’t overnight. It’s when everyday you get a little better than the day before. It all adds up.” – Dwayne Johnson
“Think back 5 yrs ago. Think of where you’re at today. Think ahead 5 yrs and what you want to accomplish. Be Unstoppable.” – Dwayne Johnson
Johnny Cash – A Boy Named Sue #manlymusicfriday
At Manlihood.com our mission is to educate, equip and entertain men in an engaging way. Fridays, we focus a bit on the entertainment, offering #manlymusicfriday – where we feature songs from a variety of genres that reflect the values of true masculinity. Want more ManlyMusic? Check out our playlist on Spotify!
Men, there are better ways to impart manliness on our sons than to name them “sue” and leave – but the way Cash tells this tale is definitely powerful.
“A Boy Named Sue”
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn’t leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don’t blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me “Sue.”
Well, he must o’ thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a’ lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I’d get red
And some guy’d laugh and I’d bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a boy named “Sue.”
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I’d roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I’d search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I’d stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me “Sue.”
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother’d had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: “My name is ‘Sue!’ How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!”
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a’ gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.
I tell ya, I’ve fought tougher men
But I really can’t remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin’ at me and I saw him smile.
And he said: “Son, this world is rough
And if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn’t be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you’d have to get tough or die
And it’s the name that helped to make you strong.”
He said: “Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn’t blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I’m the son-of-a-bitch that named you “Sue.'”
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I’m gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
Resolute: Baby Steps (Part 5)
Every New Year, talk of resolutions start surfacing. In this blog series, we’ll identify what it takes to make a fresh start, and to resolve to change your life permanently.
You cannot be a new man overnight. You may find redemption and have it applied in an instant. Forgiveness can be quick…. But change, my brother, takes time.
There are always exceptions. Men who quit smoking cold turkey. Men who were knocked off a horse and blinded and went from killing Christians to serving them. Yes, sometimes change is instant.
But most of the time, change is the result of consistent baby steps.
You don’t lose 100 pounds overnight. You don’t change your mindset in an instant.
You also don’t change (for the better) by accident.
As you look at the man you want to be, set your goals. Give them a realistic time frame, and then take the time to lay out the steps it will take to get there.
You want to quit drinking soda. But you keep coming back to it. So set a date. In six months, I want to be soda free.
Then make a plan for how you are going to get there. Maybe a step down to diet soda. Then maybe once a week instead of once a day. Give each step a time frame.
You want to be a more positive person? Great. That’s a lot harder to quantize. Maybe you start by saying, “I will say ten positive things today.”
Make sure that your “gains” are marked by incremental milestones. Make sure you celebrate those milestones!
If your resolution is fuzzy, and requires you to instantly be something that you are not yet, your resolve will get weary, and you’ll never change.
Patrick Henry – #mancrushmonday
Every Monday At Manlihood.com – we celebrate men of courage, valor, creativity, innovation, and honor. We celebrate men who have accomplished great things, that have set good examples, and then have made the world a better place. This is #mancrushmonday
We all know Patrick Henry’s most famous quote:
“Give me Liberty or give me death!”
But there’s much more to this American hero, and this week’s Manlihood.com #ManCrushMonday selection.
According to History.com
Virginia lawyer and politician Patrick Henry (1736-1799) was one of the leading figures of the American Revolutionary period. An outspoken opponent of the Stamp and Townshend Acts levied by England, he stirred the seeds of discord with his famous Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death speech to the Virginia Assembly in 1775. Henry served a crucial role in the overthrow of the royally appointed Virginia leadership and was elected governor multiple times. Although he opposed the formation of the U.S. Constitution as a threat to the liberties of the people and the rights of the states, his criticisms helped bring about the amendments that became the bill of rights.
Quotes from Patrick Henry:
I know of no way of judging the future but by the past
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship.
Are we at last brought to such humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our defense?
When the American spirit was in its youth, the language of America was different: Liberty, sir, was the primary object.
The great object is that every man be armed.
The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them.
For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and provide for it.
This is all the inheritance I give to my dear family. The religion of Christ will give them one which will make them rich indeed.
Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.
The distinctions between Virginians, Pennsylvanians, New Yorkers, and New Englanders are no more. I am not a Virginian but an American.
We are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of Nature has placed in our power… the battle, sir, is not to the strong alone it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave.
Fear is the passion of slaves.
Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!
Iron Maiden – The Trooper #manlymusicfriday
At Manlihood.com our mission is to educate, equip and entertain men in an engaging way. Fridays, we focus a bit on the entertainment, offering #manlymusicfriday – where we feature songs from a variety of genres that reflect the values of true masculinity. Want more ManlyMusic? Check out our playlist on Spotify!
Iron Maiden may not be everybody’s cup of tea. It’s a little heavy metal hair band for many. But their hard hitting music and lyrics often convey some really neat imagery. This song in particular paints a picture of a soldier’s valor on the field of battle. That’s pretty manly, if you ask me!
“The Trooper”
You’ll fire your musket but I’ll run you through
So when you’re waiting for the next attack
You’d better stand there’s no turning back.
The Bugle sounds and the charge begins
But on this battlefield no one wins
The smell of acrid smoke and horses breath
As I plunge on into certain death.
The horse he sweats with fear we break to run
The mighty roar of the Russian guns
And as we race towards the human wall
The screams of pain as my comrades fall.
We hurdle bodies that lay on the ground
And the Russians fire another round
We get so near yet so far away
We won’t live to fight another day.
We get so close near enough to fight
When a Russian gets me in his sights
He pulls the trigger and I feel the blow
A burst of rounds take my horse below.
And as I lay there gazing at the sky
My body’s numb and my throat is dry
And as I lay forgotten and alone
Without a tear I draw my parting groan.
Resolute: Replace your addictions with habits (Part 4)
Every New Year, talk of resolutions start surfacing. In this blog series, we’ll identify what it takes to make a fresh start, and to resolve to change your life permanently.
Probably the most common resolutions are “Quitting Smoking,” “Losing Weight,” or “Getting Healthy.” These resolutions, along with others, like getting sober, quitting drugs, and many others are in response to addictions.
Psychology Today defines addiction this way:
Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.
There are a number of different ways that we deal with addiction: We often trade one addiction for another. That’s why smokers who quit often gain weight…
There are so many facets to treating addiction, and getting to the root of the problem that we can’t get into here. I’m no expert, and even the experts have a variety of opinions on it. If you find yourself in need of more help, consult an expert.
In the meantime though, and especially in deailing with the smaller more manageable addictions – I can offer some advice.
Replace those addictions with good habits.
If you normally reach for a sugar soda to quench your thirst, replace it with ice water!
If you are addicted to caffeine, (by the way – the first three days of that addiction are the hardest!) Replace the need for a boost of energy with a quick burst of exercise or stretching! (My wife sells essential oils – I’ve found that a quick whiff of peppermint oil actually gives me almost the same boost of caffeine!)
Trying to quit smoking? If you are taking the smoke breaks out of your life, you have to replace them with something else that is GOOD for you.
Get together with your brothers-in-arms and talk about the addictions you need to cast off. Ask for advice, ask for accountability. Be honest with them about the struggles, and about the process. It may not be instant – sometimes screwing up is part of the process!
Norman Schwarzkopf – #mancrushmonday
Every Monday At Manlihood.com – we celebrate men of courage, valor, creativity, innovation, and honor. We celebrate men who have accomplished great things, that have set good examples, and then have made the world a better place. This is #mancrushmonday
Our Man Crush Monday is truly a man of honor… “Stormin’ Norman” was a hero during the first Gulf War, and as a kid, we would see him resolutely representing the military on national television frequently, informing the public of the mission progress, and relating so well the public.
Here’s a little more about Schawrzkopf.
From Wikipedia
Herbert Norman Schwarzkopf Jr. (/ˈʃwɔːrtskɒf/; August 22, 1934 – December 27, 2012) was a United States Army general. While serving as Commander-in-chief, United States Central Command, he led all coalition forces in the Gulf War.
Born in Trenton, New Jersey, Schwarzkopf grew up in the United States and later in Iran. He was accepted into the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the United States Army in 1956. After a number of initial training programs, Schwarzkopf interrupted a stint as an academy teacher, and served in the Vietnam War first as an adviser to the South Vietnamese Army and later as a battalion commander. Schwarzkopf was highly decorated in Vietnam, being awarded three Silver Star Medals, two Purple Hearts, and the Legion of Merit. Rising through the ranks after the conflict, he later commanded the U.S. 24th Infantry Division and was one of the commanders of the Invasion of Grenada in 1983.
Assuming command of United States Central Command in 1988, Schwarzkopf was called on to respond to the Invasion of Kuwait in 1990 by the forces of Iraq under Saddam Hussein. Initially tasked with defending Saudi Arabia from Iraqi aggression, Schwarzkopf’s command eventually grew to an international force of over 750,000 troops. After diplomatic relations broke down, he planned and led Operation Desert Storm—an extended air campaign followed by a highly successful 100-hour ground offensive—which defeated the Iraqi Army and liberated Kuwait in early 1991. Schwarzkopf was presented with military honors.
Schwarzkopf retired shortly after the end of the war and undertook a number of philanthropic ventures, only occasionally stepping into the political spotlight before his death from complications of pneumonia in late 2012. Known for being a hard-driving military commander with a strong temper, Schwarzkopf was nonetheless considered an exceptional leader by biographers and was noted for his abilities as a military diplomat and in dealing with the press.
Check out these quotes from “Stormin’ Norman”
“It doesn’t take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.”
“You should never forget that the airplanes don’t fly, the tanks don’t run, the ships don’t sail, the missiles don’t fire unless the sons and daughters of America make them do it.”
“True courage is being afraid, and going ahead and doing your job anyhow, that’s what courage is.”
“I’ve managed to convince my wife that somewhere in the Bible it says, ‘Man cannot have too many shotguns and fishing poles.’”
Resolute: Change your mind (Part 3)
Every New Year, talk of resolutions start surfacing. In this blog series, we’ll identify what it takes to make a fresh start, and to resolve to change your life permanently.
Remember those commercials for the NAACP that used to say, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste” ?
Those words have often haunted and sung in my head, because they highlight the value of the human mind. But they don’t even come close to describing the power of it.
I know that may sound like metaphysical mumbo-jumbo, but truth sometimes can sound a bit strange. Especially ancient truth.
The word “mindset” breaks down to imply that the mind is fixed like concrete or glue…. Hardened in the way that it thinks. And this perspective really helps us understand how to succeed and how to accomplish what it is we are meant to do. When we SET our mind on improving some area of our life – we will improve. Especially if we reinforce that concrete as often as we can with continual reminders of our destination.
What is a mindset? It’s simply what you think about, and how you think about it. Before we can talk about developing a healthy mindset, we need to talk about how you got your unhealthy mindset, and why it is unhealthy.
From the time you were born, you’ve heard lies about yourself and the world around you. If you hear a lie enough times, you start to believe that it’s true. If you tell yourself that you can’t lose weight – will you lose weight? If you tell yourself that you are worthless, will you ever find self-worth?
The first step in correcting your mindset involves the choice to identify and root out the lies about your situation. Identify the un-truth, call it like it is – and then move on to the next step, which is to identify the truth.
The truth is you CAN do it. The truth is you do have value.The truth is you ARE an addict in need of recovery. The truth is you have treated your wife like crap. The truth is you can change.
Identify the truth, good or bad, and then determine what changes need to be made in your lifestyle as you strive to chase that truth. If the truth is bad, focus on the corrective result that you want to see. “I’m an alcoholic, but I will kick this habit.” “I’m a crappy husband, but I will choose to be a better one.”
Cultivating that mindset means kicking out thoughts, daydreams, and internal dialogue if it goes against the positive direction that you want to go. Thoughts sometimes swirl around and get you off track, and it’s up to you to kick it out. How do you kick it out? It simply starts with telling it to go. Outloud if you have to. “Get out of my head. I am not stupid. I will pass this exam.”
You must also kick out the external voices that are holding you back. If your spouse is berating your attempts to improve, tell her that you need her support. If you are listening to music or watching television or movies that reinforce the bad habits or ideas, toss them out.
Changing your mind is not instant, nor is it simple. It take the discipline to “take captive every thought.” Whenever a thought comes into your head – take the time to evaluate it and file it appropriately. Is it positive, encouraging, true, motivating, brutally honest? Is it weak, passive, negative, destructive, dishonest?
You know which ones are good. Put the good ones in the right place – and kick the bad thoughts out.
Changing your mind also takes education. Read, attend seminars, classes, and groups to enrich and enlarge your mind. If you want to see change, you have to be properly equipped.