Looking for the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? Tired of being alone? Obviously, I can’t guarantee or promise anything… but I can tell you what mindsets you need to adjust in order to find a good woman.
I feel strongly that if you do what we talked about last week, and improve your self, you’ll naturally be more confident.
But women are looking for confidence. They are looking for a man who knows himself, and who is confident with who he is.
They can smell bravado a mile a way, though. Whatever you do – don’t fake it. If you project confidence when you don’t have it, you look like that little kid on the playground who lies about what his dad does for a living.
Here are the steps you need to take to become more confident,
1. Change your mind. (Change your thoughts)
Confidence is birthed out of a mindset. That mindset has to be cultivated. Your mind is a garden. You’ve got to plant seeds of confidence if you want confidence to grow and produce fruit.
You can’t choose to be confident in the moment when you’re on your first date. You have to choose to be confident now! Make the choice, and work toward cleaning up your thought patterns – taking negative thoughts captive, and replacing them with confidence.
2. Set Goals (and then acheive them)
The biggest way to boost confidence naturally is to set a goal, and make it happen.
I watched my son, who took the driver’s license test a few times before passing, set a goal to pass it, then practice his parallel parking. When he passed his test – he was beaming with confidence. In fact, this young man who is normally shy around the ladies started immediately chatting up another young lady who successfully passed her test.
Your goal may be losing weight, learning french, getting a job, finishing a project, buying a car – or any other number of goals that will give you the feeling of accomplishment you need.
- Build our tribe (and evaluate who is in it)
I’m never a fan of kicking people out of your life – but you may want to take inventory of the people that you allow to speak into your life. Are they building you up? Or cutting you down?
Spend time with the people that build you up, and limit your contact with those that don’t. You don’t have to tell them you are limiting their contact. Be cordial to them – but just allow yourself to pull away from the influences in your life that bring you down.
Note: Sometimes a good friend may talk tough to you – this does not always equate to cutting you down. Keep your skin thick, but be open to friends who really do want to see you improve who share the hard truth with you. A real friend tells you if there is a booger on your face.
4. Mirror Talk
The idea of pep-talking to yourself in the mirror is a bit of a cultural trope… but maybe there’s a little something to it. Maybe looking yourself in the eye and speaking positive truths to yourself actually does build you up.
Sometimes I think the words that we use are a bit magical. There are power in your words. So use them wisely to build yourself. The power of saying. “I can do this!” is quite possible the most mystical experience there is.
I know most of these things seem to focus on the internal more than the focus on the relationships with women directly. The truth is – what a woman wants has more to do with what’s behind the scenes, ANYWAY.