manlihood

March 10 2018

MMC 46 – Thoughts on Vulernability vs Authenticity

March 2 2018

MMC 45: Lion or Lamb – Part 4 – How and When to Follow

Episode 45: Lion or Lamb – Part 4 – How and When to Follow

We’ve often been told that men need to be the alpha. And this of course, relates to the idea that we need to be the most aggressive wolf (or lion) in the pack (or pride).

They tell us to show now mercy, to build and demonstrate strength. To strive to lead at all costs.

I don’t buy into the whole “alpha male” nonsense.

What are we, animals?

No. We are men! And men come in different strokes and sizes.

If the whole pack of wolves was alpha… You know the pack would die right?

There are different roles in the pack.

And we are supposed to be better then the animals…. And they already know that everyone can’t be alpha!

Sometimes, we need to live aggressively. Sometimes we need to lead the pack. But sometimes, we need to follow, to obey, to submit. To show compassion, to show mercy, to show love.

Honestly, I think what we need more on this planet is more men that know when to lead, and when to follow.

I think what we need in this world are men who don’t think of themselves higher than they are. Men who have the strength to fight and conquer, but the self-control to know when not to.

Men who know when to lead and when to follow.

http://www.manlihood.com/lion-or-lamb-how-and-when-to-follow/

This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

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Manlihood - Alpha Male - Lion | Personal Development for Men

February 28 2018

MMC 43: Lion or Lamb: Part 2 – Embracing Your Lionhood – Manlihood ManCast

Episode 43: Lion or Lamb: Part 2 – Embracing Your Lionhood – Manlihood ManCast

“Truth be told, most of us are faking our way through life. We pick only those battles we are sure to win, only those adventures we are sure to handle, only those beauties we are sure to rescue.”
― John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

For the last century – the idea of manhood has been unappealing. To be strong, courageous, willing to fight, the smell of hard work, the hair on our face and bodies- it’s all been painted as slobbish, beastly, and uncivilized.

Not to downplay or insult the contributions of women, but fighting, working, and rough men have built our civilization. Now that it’s built, and civilization lies comfortably on memory foam beds drinking foamy coffee drinks, we have invented a derision against the wild, raw, strength of man.

As a man who is truly a lion, your strength must be tempered, disciplined, and reserved. Let them feel the weight of who you are. Walk into a room with confidence, and they’ll see your strength and your wildness, and know they don’t want to mess with that. When they see your gentleness, kindness, and temperament, they’ll respect it more, knowing the strength behind it.

Have you ever met that young soldier who comes back from bootcamp to visit with his family? He is lean, strong, fierce, and ready for battle. But there’s this sense of self-confidence and self-control about him. He went away a boy, and he came home a man. He’s been trained in hand-to-hand combat, and in peak-physical condition. But he looks you in the eye, he shakes your hand firmly, and stands up straight. That lion is there. He’s not a “tame lion” – but he’s a good one.

http://www.manlihood.com/lion-or-lamb-embracing-your-lionhood/

February 25 2018

MMC 40: What Boys Do – Run their mouths – Manlihood Mancast

This week, we’ve been contrasting the things boys do and the things men do.
As we mature – there are things we have to put aside. Sometimes just calling them out helps us to remember what it means to live a life of maturity.

One of the things that BOYS do is run their mouths.

Loose lips sink ships. This is not only true about accidentally spilling government secrets – but about the power of talking too much.

I think the key to keeping our speech at a minimum is learning to T.H.I.N.K. before we speak!

T – is it True?

H – is it Helpful?

I – is it Inspiring?

N – is it Necessary?

K – is it Kind?

So often, the speaking we do can tear people down, not build them up. It can reveal more details than we should. It can create an image in the minds of others about us that push them away from us. It can create self-defeat, by establishing a negative attitude in ourselves!

Boys don’t think before they speak. Men carefully use their words to bring life.

Don’t let your speech sink your ship, or anyone else’s!

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

February 22 2018

MMC39: What BOYS Do – Part 3: Waste Time

Episode 39: What BOYS Do – Part 3: Waste Time

There’s a bible verse that says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like achild. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. “

As we become men, we put away the things that boys do – one of those things is wasting time.

When we are young – time seems to move slower. My friend Mike McAvoy says that life is like a roll of toilet paper – and it goes faster the closer you get to the end of the roll. Now – Mike is a preacher, not a physicist – but it seems to make sense enough to me.

There is nothing wrong with boys who spend their vast amount of slow-moving time tossing baseballs around, or playing cops and robbers, or building with plastic blocks, or catching fish.

But when a boy becomes a man – and his time starts to move faster – his time becomes currency. And a man uses his currency and his time wisely.

Does that mean he abandons all leisure pursuits? Certainly not! It’s perfectly acceptable for a man to sit on a shore with a hook in the water, waiting for a fish.

But what it does mean is that he is intentional with his time. Every minute spent is used for a greater purpose. Leisure is not about wasting time – but rather about recharging yourself spiritually, physically and mentally. We use our leisure as an investment in ourselves and in our families.

If we make it a point to manage our time, we find ourselves less stressed, and more productive.

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

February 20 2018

MMC 37: What BOYS Do – Part 1: Whine

Episode 37: What BOYS Do – Part 1: Whine
Remember that 90’s RnB Group Boys II Men? Yeah. They were great. That has nothing to do with what we’re talking about though. What we’re talking about is common behaviors that should have died off when a boy became a man.

The first one of those behaviors? Whining

Obviously – men do this. It is a behavior that didn’t just “die” with the onset of manhood – but it should.

I don’t think that identifying something that is wrong and needs to be repaired is the same thing as whining. It’s okay to identify a need, talk about solutions, and then implement solutions.

Now that we’ve established that- let’s talk about whining.

Boys who don’t get their way complain about it.

Men learn to deal with it, and find solutions to problems.

Life isn’t fair. It’s true, and you still have to deal with it. Whining about it rarely levels the playing field, but learning to rise above it is the ultimate reward.

Harvey Mackay

Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve.

Robert Burns

The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.

Francis Jeffrey

If you want to behave like a man – you won’t whine. Complaining changes nothing but other’s attitudes about you.

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.
This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 19 2018

MMC 36: Man Crush Monday – Before the Bullet

Today’s ManCrushMonday is well known for meeting his untimely demise from a bullet. It’s a notorious death. We’ve all heard about it. In fact – the last few years leading up his death are the years we are all familiar with.

Before that – he was raised as the grandchild of four irish immigrants – immigrants who seized the American dream, and their family did well for themselves. Well enough, anyway, that Jack grew up in boarding school, as his father spent long stretches of time away from the family on business. Young Jack blew up toilets with cherry bombs, and led a gang of trouble makers called “The Muckers”

That troublemaking though was offset by health problems – one doctor thought it may have been leukemia – but another diagnosed him with collitis – a condition known to be very painful and debilitating for men. Those health problems, including a bad back, made it difficult for Jack to finish his education, and to join the Navy – his dad had to pull a few strings to get him there – and the young man went on to serve with distinction during WWII. Those distinctions made him an American hero – and he quickly grew in his influence.

But who was this man, now regarded as a hero? Who was this man who shot for the moon, and did so much for his country?
For his devotion to his country, persistence through pain – and for leaving a lasting legacy – we salute John Fitzgerald Kennedy – J.F.K.

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February 16 2018

MMC 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Women typically want to be heard and understood. So when she is telling you something – listen. And try to understand. Don’t assume that her emotion is directed at you, or even if is – that it means she doesn’t love you. Just listen, and do your best to understand what she is saying.
Women also need security. They need to know you aren’t going to leave them for a younger model, that you are going to work hard to provide, that you won’t let a rapist break into the house at night. Find ways to communicate that you will provide security.

Every woman is different and unique, and she has different and unique needs. Part of making a romance work is studying each other. So learn about her, how she receives love, and then give her that love.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

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Episode 35: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 4

Romance can make a grown man into a blubbering idiot when it goes well, and a sad sack of potatoes when it goes bad. What can you do to avoid screwing up your romance?

Generally speaking, there are certain needs that women have – and they are different from the needs that men have.

Want to know more? Get the book “The 5 Love Languages” – it’s a great way for both of your to learn how to communicate with each other and build your romance.

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February 15 2018

MMC 34: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 3

Episode 34: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 3

Funny how Valentine’s Day conjured up image of Cupid shooting people with a bow and arrow… sometimes, a relationship feels more like a Valentine’s Day Massacre!

How do you avoid screwing up your romance?

You have to apply grace.
No – not Grace Slick, legendary singer of Jefferson Starship.
No – not grace like a ballerina.

Grace is choosing to show favor whether it is merited or not.

Your partner isn’t perfect. She’s gonna mess up sometimes. As are you. You’re going to leave your underwear on the floor again, or she’s going to spend money without checking with you first. She’s going to lose her cool and call you a name. You’re gonna stub your toe and swear in front of the kids.

It’s going to happen. You will make mistakes.

A good romance applies grace – it doesn’t ignore the mistakes – it chooses to forgive and work with them.

Are there things that are irreconcilable? Sure. But if you want a romance to work – you have to choose to do everything in your power to reconcile as much as you possible can.

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Marriage - Masculinity - Manhood, Manlihood

February 14 2018

MMC 33 – Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

As we approach Valentine’s Day – let’s look at how we can prevent a Valentine’s Day Massacre.
How can we avoid the carnage of a bad romance? Sorry Lady Gaga, a bad romance is NOT a good thing…

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

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https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/mmc-33-valentines-day-massacre-how-not-to-screw-up-your-romance-part-2-manlihood-mancast

Episode 33: Valentine’s Day Massacre: How Not to Screw Up Your Romance Part 2

Don’t be selfish.

Yes – you do have to take care of yourself. Yes – I know you have needs, too. But don’t let that be an excuse to neglect the person you are supposed to care about most.

In every area of your relationship – approach it with the goal of pleasing and meeting the needs of your partner first.

You may have to remind yourself, “It’s not about me. It’s not about me.”

If you BOTH do this – you’ll find that your relationship is running on all cylinders.

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Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast