personal development for men

March 10 2018

MMC 46 – Thoughts on Vulernability vs Authenticity

March 2 2018

MMC 45: Lion or Lamb – Part 4 – How and When to Follow

Episode 45: Lion or Lamb – Part 4 – How and When to Follow

We’ve often been told that men need to be the alpha. And this of course, relates to the idea that we need to be the most aggressive wolf (or lion) in the pack (or pride).

They tell us to show now mercy, to build and demonstrate strength. To strive to lead at all costs.

I don’t buy into the whole “alpha male” nonsense.

What are we, animals?

No. We are men! And men come in different strokes and sizes.

If the whole pack of wolves was alpha… You know the pack would die right?

There are different roles in the pack.

And we are supposed to be better then the animals…. And they already know that everyone can’t be alpha!

Sometimes, we need to live aggressively. Sometimes we need to lead the pack. But sometimes, we need to follow, to obey, to submit. To show compassion, to show mercy, to show love.

Honestly, I think what we need more on this planet is more men that know when to lead, and when to follow.

I think what we need in this world are men who don’t think of themselves higher than they are. Men who have the strength to fight and conquer, but the self-control to know when not to.

Men who know when to lead and when to follow.

http://www.manlihood.com/lion-or-lamb-how-and-when-to-follow/

This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
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February 28 2018

MMC 43: Lion or Lamb: Part 2 – Embracing Your Lionhood – Manlihood ManCast

Episode 43: Lion or Lamb: Part 2 – Embracing Your Lionhood – Manlihood ManCast

“Truth be told, most of us are faking our way through life. We pick only those battles we are sure to win, only those adventures we are sure to handle, only those beauties we are sure to rescue.”
― John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

For the last century – the idea of manhood has been unappealing. To be strong, courageous, willing to fight, the smell of hard work, the hair on our face and bodies- it’s all been painted as slobbish, beastly, and uncivilized.

Not to downplay or insult the contributions of women, but fighting, working, and rough men have built our civilization. Now that it’s built, and civilization lies comfortably on memory foam beds drinking foamy coffee drinks, we have invented a derision against the wild, raw, strength of man.

As a man who is truly a lion, your strength must be tempered, disciplined, and reserved. Let them feel the weight of who you are. Walk into a room with confidence, and they’ll see your strength and your wildness, and know they don’t want to mess with that. When they see your gentleness, kindness, and temperament, they’ll respect it more, knowing the strength behind it.

Have you ever met that young soldier who comes back from bootcamp to visit with his family? He is lean, strong, fierce, and ready for battle. But there’s this sense of self-confidence and self-control about him. He went away a boy, and he came home a man. He’s been trained in hand-to-hand combat, and in peak-physical condition. But he looks you in the eye, he shakes your hand firmly, and stands up straight. That lion is there. He’s not a “tame lion” – but he’s a good one.

http://www.manlihood.com/lion-or-lamb-embracing-your-lionhood/

February 27 2018

MMC 42: Lion or a Lamb – Part 1 – Finding Balance

Episode 42: Lion or a Lamb – Part 1 – Finding Balance

We’ve long said that March comes in and goes out inversely like a Lion or a Lamb. The thought of being one or the other may be a bit frightening for men. Especially in a culture that no longer appreciates the fierce and bold virtues that once marked manhood.

Lambs are weak. Lions are strong.

Most of the time, I think we should err on the side of the lion. I think that we should strive to be brave, and fierce. We should strive to lead the pride, rather than to frolic in the fields, and cower at the thought of wolves.

With that said, I think that even the fiercest and strongest war-like man has to know that there’s a part of him that has to fall in line. A part of him that must be subdued and soft.

When I was a child, my dad and I loved to wrestle. His strength was and still is baffling. I’ve watched him lift things no man should lift. I’ve felt the strength in his grip. As we would wrestle, he’d show me that strength, but it was always measured and held back. I always knew that this man had the power to crush my little skull with his bare hands, and the fact that he didn’t showed me more about his strength than anything. He was wild like a lion, but he was tempered.

“For after years of living in a cage, a lion no longer even believes it is a lion . . . and a man no longer believes he is a man.”
― John Eldredge, Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul

I don’t want to see men tamed. I think it’s a dangerous thing to take a lion and to train him to be a house-cat. When I talk about finding balance, I don’t mean that men should be tamed. I think they should be TEMPERED. Men, finding balance does not mean that you are abandoning your lionhood in order to be a lamb.

http://www.manlihood.com/lion-or-lamb-finding-balance-part-1/

February 26 2018

MMC 41- Man Crush Monday – The Last of the Barenuckles

Episode 41- Man Crush Monday – The Last of the Barenuckles

Keep in mind – not all of the heroes we recognize are perfect. If you look hard enough – you’ll find a reason to disqualify anybody from admiration. We propose a better plan, though – look for the good first. You can learn a good lesson from anyone if you are willing.

Growing up as an Irish Immigrant at the turn of the last century usually meant you’d be tough – and prone to fighting. Young John grew up on the streets of South Boston – but his parents had hoped he’d be a Catholic Priest – not known for their fisticuffs.

John dropped out of Boston College to try his hand at baseball. Eventually – bareknuckle boxing was his sport of choice. Despite the sport’s battle for legitimacy and eventual loss to a more sensible form of gloved boxing. (which John also excelled at.)
You might recognize John – his likeness has become a popular “tough guy” meme.

For being a hard as nails man with grit – for being skilled at his sport – today’s Man Crush Monday is John Sullivan

If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

February 25 2018

MMC 40: What Boys Do – Run their mouths – Manlihood Mancast

This week, we’ve been contrasting the things boys do and the things men do.
As we mature – there are things we have to put aside. Sometimes just calling them out helps us to remember what it means to live a life of maturity.

One of the things that BOYS do is run their mouths.

Loose lips sink ships. This is not only true about accidentally spilling government secrets – but about the power of talking too much.

I think the key to keeping our speech at a minimum is learning to T.H.I.N.K. before we speak!

T – is it True?

H – is it Helpful?

I – is it Inspiring?

N – is it Necessary?

K – is it Kind?

So often, the speaking we do can tear people down, not build them up. It can reveal more details than we should. It can create an image in the minds of others about us that push them away from us. It can create self-defeat, by establishing a negative attitude in ourselves!

Boys don’t think before they speak. Men carefully use their words to bring life.

Don’t let your speech sink your ship, or anyone else’s!

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.

February 22 2018

MMC39: What BOYS Do – Part 3: Waste Time

Episode 39: What BOYS Do – Part 3: Waste Time

There’s a bible verse that says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like achild. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. “

As we become men, we put away the things that boys do – one of those things is wasting time.

When we are young – time seems to move slower. My friend Mike McAvoy says that life is like a roll of toilet paper – and it goes faster the closer you get to the end of the roll. Now – Mike is a preacher, not a physicist – but it seems to make sense enough to me.

There is nothing wrong with boys who spend their vast amount of slow-moving time tossing baseballs around, or playing cops and robbers, or building with plastic blocks, or catching fish.

But when a boy becomes a man – and his time starts to move faster – his time becomes currency. And a man uses his currency and his time wisely.

Does that mean he abandons all leisure pursuits? Certainly not! It’s perfectly acceptable for a man to sit on a shore with a hook in the water, waiting for a fish.

But what it does mean is that he is intentional with his time. Every minute spent is used for a greater purpose. Leisure is not about wasting time – but rather about recharging yourself spiritually, physically and mentally. We use our leisure as an investment in ourselves and in our families.

If we make it a point to manage our time, we find ourselves less stressed, and more productive.

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

February 21 2018

MMC38: What BOYS Do – Part 2: Fight

Episode 38: What BOYS Do – Part 2: Fight

Teddy Roosevelt said, “Don’t hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft.”
As we continue to look at the things that BOYS do – that should get put on the shelf when they become men – one of them is fighting.

Certainly – there is a time and a place for that glorious moment that a bully or a tyrant receive a blow to the nose. I firmly believe that when people say, “Violence is never the answer” they forget that there are things worth fighting for – and there are people who need to be corrected with physical force.

But we’re not talking about fighting for a greater purpose. We’re talking about the schoolyard scrapping, and drunken brawls, and incessant need to win every argument – whether by force or sheer ego.

Many times people fight for the sake of proving their strength. Real men do not need such victories to define their worth.

If I’m minding my own business, and a man physically assaults me, I’m going to defend myself, and I’m going to do what it takes to win. But fighting and arguing and winning should never be what drives me, or motivates me.

A man should be secure enough in his self and in his own strength that he doesn’t need to pick fights and push his way to the top.

When I was a boy – I had to fight almost every day. I was bullied and pushed around. There were times when my fights were to protect myself, and times when my fights were to prove myself. I wish that I could have understood that I didn’t need to prove myself with my fists… or for that matter, with my arguments.

The truth is – you can be right, and you can be better than everyone else in the room, without it mattering whether or not everyone knows it.

Boys fight to prove their worth. Men know their worth, and only fight to protect and defend.

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

February 20 2018

MMC 37: What BOYS Do – Part 1: Whine

Episode 37: What BOYS Do – Part 1: Whine
Remember that 90’s RnB Group Boys II Men? Yeah. They were great. That has nothing to do with what we’re talking about though. What we’re talking about is common behaviors that should have died off when a boy became a man.

The first one of those behaviors? Whining

Obviously – men do this. It is a behavior that didn’t just “die” with the onset of manhood – but it should.

I don’t think that identifying something that is wrong and needs to be repaired is the same thing as whining. It’s okay to identify a need, talk about solutions, and then implement solutions.

Now that we’ve established that- let’s talk about whining.

Boys who don’t get their way complain about it.

Men learn to deal with it, and find solutions to problems.

Life isn’t fair. It’s true, and you still have to deal with it. Whining about it rarely levels the playing field, but learning to rise above it is the ultimate reward.

Harvey Mackay

Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised the whining yelp of complaint and cowardly resolve.

Robert Burns

The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.

Francis Jeffrey

If you want to behave like a man – you won’t whine. Complaining changes nothing but other’s attitudes about you.

This was originally published in May of 2015 – read the full series of blog posts here:
http://www.manlihood.com/tag/what-boys-do/

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If you want to be a better man – check out our website – Manlihood.com – for blogs, videos, and more from our Manlihood Team. Men, you can also join our private facebook group- Manlihood ManCave -where you can meet up with a band of brothers who will challenge you and help you on your journey of manhood.
This episode is produced by Hatcher Media for Manlihood.com
Our Manly theme music is from Austin Stirling and also from Mark Kroos.
Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, Youtube, or wherever you are listening to the show!

Tune in again for more of the Manlihood ManCast

February 19 2018

MMC 36: Man Crush Monday – Before the Bullet

Today’s ManCrushMonday is well known for meeting his untimely demise from a bullet. It’s a notorious death. We’ve all heard about it. In fact – the last few years leading up his death are the years we are all familiar with.

Before that – he was raised as the grandchild of four irish immigrants – immigrants who seized the American dream, and their family did well for themselves. Well enough, anyway, that Jack grew up in boarding school, as his father spent long stretches of time away from the family on business. Young Jack blew up toilets with cherry bombs, and led a gang of trouble makers called “The Muckers”

That troublemaking though was offset by health problems – one doctor thought it may have been leukemia – but another diagnosed him with collitis – a condition known to be very painful and debilitating for men. Those health problems, including a bad back, made it difficult for Jack to finish his education, and to join the Navy – his dad had to pull a few strings to get him there – and the young man went on to serve with distinction during WWII. Those distinctions made him an American hero – and he quickly grew in his influence.

But who was this man, now regarded as a hero? Who was this man who shot for the moon, and did so much for his country?
For his devotion to his country, persistence through pain – and for leaving a lasting legacy – we salute John Fitzgerald Kennedy – J.F.K.

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