taking action

To take a personal inventory, write down what is working, what keeps causing problems, and what needs your attention next. Use specific examples. Include your strengths. Then choose one response you can act on this week.

You don't need to turn it into a trial where you're both the defendant and the angry guy holding the gavel.

You need an honest look.

Have you ever come home after being away for a few days and noticed that your house smells like dog?

You didn't notice it before you left. You were living in it. Then you got a little distance, walked back through the door, and wondered why nobody had told you.

I've thought about that when looking at my own habits. Something can become familiar enough that I stop noticing it. The unfinished work. The way I answer when I'm interrupted. The explanation I keep giving for something I haven't addressed.

A personal inventory gives you a little distance. Here's a simple way to do one.

1. Write Down What Is Working

Set aside ten or fifteen quiet minutes. Take a sheet of paper and make three headings: Working. Struggling. Next.

Start with the first one.

What have you handled well lately? Where have you followed through? What strength have you used to help somebody?

Be specific. "I checked on my friend after his surgery" tells you more than "I'm a good friend."

If you only record your failures, you've already made the inventory inaccurate. Give the good things room on the page, too.

2. Name One Repeated Problem

Under "Struggling," describe a pattern you can actually observe.

"I agreed to three things last week without checking my calendar."

"When I came home tired, I answered my wife sharply."

"I kept opening my phone while trying to finish the same project."

Avoid labels like "lazy," "hopeless," or "a terrible husband." Describe what happened, how often you noticed it, and whom it affected.

Taking responsibility becomes more useful when you can identify the behavior you need to address. I've written more about owning your choices without getting trapped in shame.

3. Notice What You Need

Look at the pattern and ask what would help you respond differently.

Do you need information? A clearer agreement? Rest? An apology? Someone to help you work through something you don't understand?

You may discover a situation that needs more than a notebook. An inventory can help you describe a problem to a trusted person or qualified professional. It doesn't require you to solve it alone.

4. Choose One Next Action

Under "Next," write something you can do and when you'll do it.

"Tonight, I'll put my commitments on the calendar before I answer another request."

"After dinner, I'll apologize for how I spoke and listen to her answer."

Keep the response connected to what you discovered. If you need help turning that action into a manageable starting point, read Getting Your Life Together: Where to Start.

Come Back to the Page

Choose a day next week to look again. What changed? What did you miss? What still needs attention?

You're allowed to learn something you didn't see the first time.

I've had to admit strengths I was overlooking and problems I was explaining away. Both admissions gave me something useful to work with.

Take a few minutes today. Tell the truth about one good thing, one difficult thing, and one thing you can do next.

That's enough for a useful beginning.

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This exercise draws on my book, Change Your Life in a Year. I wrote it to help you turn an honest look at your life into goals, practical steps, and regular reviews. Get the book and start building your plan.