It’s important. And for some reason – it’s a dying art.
Fathers pass it on to sons. And as fathers are less and less involved, young men know less and less about what it means to be a man.
We’re a bit tired of seeing sexist, chauvinist, drunken, frat-boys who have aged out, being representative of our role models.
So in 2013 Josh Hatcher decided to create a place where we can have the discussions that answer the question “What does it mean to be a man?” but we wanted to do it in a way that is entertaining, interesting, and equipping.
Personal Development for Men
This is what Manlihood is all about. We believe that for men’s personal development to happen, we have to start by creating content that engages and equips men, and it helps if it can also be entertaining.
What does personal development look like for men like you?
I can’t fully answer that, but I can tell you this. We’re committed to help you get there.
Check out our private facebook group, The Manlihood Mancave, where men talk about their own personal development, and encourage each other.
Really, the journey of Manlihood started as my own. It’s a journey I’m still on – and I want to be able to share it with you.
I was struggling. And her words slapped my in the face.
Josh. You have been sitting at this computer for days. You come downstairs to eat. You aren’t getting your projects finished, and we aren’t getting paid. You have gained all this weight and aren’t doing anything about it. Your back hurts all the time. You snap at all of us and are constantly grumpy and mean. I can’t live like this anymore. We can’t live like this any more.
I don’t know what has to change, but something has to change. You need to get a job, you need to start caring about your health, you need to be a better husband, a better father.
I told you I’d be your wife forever. But you are making this extremely hard for me to do that. It’s time to change.
It was true. I was a mess. We had been married about 13 years at that point, and I’d made a mess. Struggled to keep a job. Struggled to keep my business profitable. I had battled porn addiction, and when I got that under control, I transferred to food addiction. I had gained 200 pounds since we were married. I didn’t know how to fix the broken things in my house, and I didn’t know how to fix the broken things in my family. The extra weight and lack of activity meant I was in constant pain and inflammation. I didn’t sleep right, because I would stay up all night trying to catch up on projects that I wasn’t making nearly enough money for. We struggled in debt and poverty, unsure how we were going to pay the bills each month. I had very little real physical relationship with my wife, because I just turned off my sex drive, so that I wouldn’t be tempted to use it in the wrong ways, not to mention, there’s no way I felt even remotely attractive to her.
I was floundering as a father.
I was floundering as a husband.
I was floundering at everything.
I had to make a decision. Stay where I was, depressed, stressed, failing, fat, falling apart or I could start making steps to better my life.
I wish I could say that all of these issues magically changed when she uttered those words to me. I can say, I started a journey of self-improvement that I still continue to walk.
Looking back, years later, I can see that moment was a turning point. I’ve had multiple moments since then, as I have worked to bring each area of my life under control.
Life is so much different now.
I’m not perfect. I haven’t magically arrived at this mystical perfectly virtuous manhood with everything in place.
But let me tell you….
My relationship with my wife has never been better. My kids are growing into fine young men and women. My career and finances are starting to finally shape up. I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’ve gained a sense of self-control and power that I never had before, and I’ve grown spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
There really is no comparison. The person I was several years ago is dead and buried. The man I am now is on the path to the man I want to become.
Not Just Me
I know I’m not alone. Statistics are showing that men are becoming increasingly depressed, suicidal, and treating themselves with addictions. In the U.S., one hundred twenty three men a day commit suicide. Men are increasingly more likely to overdose on drugs. Men are increasingly suffering from depression, alcoholism, and addiction.
Another set of statistics can’t be ignored. The stats of men and women without fathers.
- Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor
- The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states, “Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.”
- Children of single-parent homes are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.
- 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless
- Children age 10 to 17 living with two biological or adoptive parents were significantly less likely to experience sexual assault, child maltreatment, other types of major violence, and non-victimization type of adversity, and were less likely to witness violence in their families compared to peers living in single-parent families and stepfamilies.
I grew up with a great father, who modeled what it looked like to be a father figure and mentor, not only for me, but for others.
Deep in me, I believe that what our culture needs is strong, noble masculinity to counter these issues. Men who take responsibility to lead their families, to influence their communities, and to be healthy and strong, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Let’s Do Something
Since I’ve started my journey to becoming a better man, I’ve discovered that so many other men are wanting the same thing. They want to be in possession of manly virtues – courage, honor, integrity, and many of them have never had anyone to show them what that looks like.
So Manlihood is about doing something. Manlihood is about helping men be better men.
Let’s do it together.