In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about avoiding the butthurt. How can we man-the-heck-up and face our circumstances without getting our feelings hurt?
Resilience is when a man can bounce back after something hurts, rather than to stay down.
Karma comes back to those who do wrong.
Including you. Is this trouble your own fault?
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Learning to differentiate whether something SHOULD offend you or not will be one of the most valuable skills you acquire in life.
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In the movie Apocalypto, directed by Mel Gibson, a young Mayan man is set to be slaughtered.
The Mayans believed that a bloody human sacrifice was required of their gods to bring favor on their land. After all – while the brutality was in practice, their kingdom thrived! In their brutal and twisted minds – it made sense!
Of course we know that killing innocents as an act of sacrifice to the gods is not a good thing.
But our culture is built on sacrifice – and I contend that it’s a cornerstone of manlihood for a man to be willing to lay down his life.
When a man swears an oath to his country, as a soldier, a police officer, a firefighter, etc – he pledges to serve the greater good at a great personal cost. In order for him to serve, his life may be required of him. They all know this – and yet they agree to serve.
We may not all be heroes, signing or name in blood with an oath to serve and protect – but we should all strive to live our lives in a way that reflect some of that courage.
Sometimes a commitment to sacrifice doesn’t mean death – sometimes it means going without to provide for our children. Sometimes it means doing the right thing, when it costs us dearly to do so. Sometimes it means standing up to defend against wrongdoing around us.
Are you willing to give your life, or part of your life to the service of others?
Are you willing to put yourself second, to put your needs behind the needs of others? Are you willing to charge in to danger to help another in need?
I tell people frequently that this isn’t a Christian blog. I’m a Christian though – and I find deep meaning in the teachings of Jesus. I never want anyone to think I’m forcing religion on them, but I do want people to think about the truths that are in the Bible – because no matter what you believe about it – there really is great truth in those pages.
One of these truths involves plucking out eyeballs.
Matthew 18: 7Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! 8If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.
The truth here is this… if we are committed to be better men – there are things we must stop doing. Mindsets we must change, behaviors we must modify.
Some of those things are easy to stop- others take extreme action. If you want to stop a behaviour, you need to do whatever it takes to stop it.
Most people that want to quit drinking, for example, aren’t willing to pour all the booze in the house down the drain, aren’t willing to stop hanging out in social situations with drinking, and aren’t willing to get checked in and get professional help. So they often don’t stop drinking.
Most people that want to stop looking at porn aren’t willing to change the way they use their computers, to install accountability software, to talk to their wife about it, or to sell their smartphone and get a flip phone.
Most people who need to lose weight aren’t willing to stop eating pizza everyday, to put in countless hours of exercise, and to make drastic lifestyle changes.
If we want to defeat our bad behavior – we have to take extreme and drastic changes… the “plucking of the eyeballs” or the “cutting off of the hand.”
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some dark, creepy, and gross things. There’s light, even in the darkness!
Testicular Fortitude
Testicles are gross. When you really think about how they work, they’re awesome, and they are gross. All you have to do is imagine Anthony Bourdain as he travels around the world, and inevitably, someone will serve him a dish of testicles from some native species, and he always says, “It tastes like balls. They always taste the same.”
We often describe someone with GUTS or GRIT as having “intestinal fortitude”-
I like to joke that someone with BALLS has “testicular fortitude.”
Let’s explore that. First of all, I’ve known women with more testicular fortitude than you can imagine – so I don’t mean to identify courage, strength, and honor solely with masculine specific parts, but I want to emphasize that there should be a correlation to having ACTUAL testicles and having BALLS.
I always thought that my brother had the most testicular fortitude of anyone that I knew. The kid was fearless. I watched him surf down a hill of crumbling shale on a big chunk of flagstone. It flipped over and took a chunk out of his hand. He bled and cried a bit, but it was worth it to have that kind of adventure. Another time he got in a bicycle accident that ended up with him getting hit in the testicles. The doctor told him not to ride his bike for awhile. That night, after icing down his sore gonads, he climbed to the top of the swingset and started walking it like a tightrope.
That was his behavior as a kid – he does show a little more responsibility as an adult, but he certainly hasn’t suffered from any “shrinkage” of testicular fortitude.
Questions to ask the modern man
Why is it that we settle for lives of comfort and safety?
Why do we NOT say or do the things that should be said or done?
Why are we content to watch adventures on television, or to play adventures on playstations instead of having the real thing?
Should we be okay with expecting other people to protect us, and not preparing to protect ourselves?
Why do we minimize risk and then complain about the little return that we receive?
We are men in need of testicular fortitude.
Are you NOT a man of courage? Do you feel you DON’T have the balls you need? It starts by making a goal for yourself, and then doing it. Courage is a muscle – and you have to exercise it.
Start by picking something that you didn’t think you could do – and then just do it.
A few weeks ago – I walked 15 miles in one day…. something I never thought I could do!
Maybe it’s an adventure sport, or just an adventure!
Maybe it’s a fitness goal – or asking a girl on a date.
Just start building that courage by taking small steps until those steps get bigger and bigger and build confidence.
In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher talks about some dark, creepy, and gross things. There’s light, even in the darkness!
What Flows in your veins
Blood has been thought of as sacred since the first moment someone nicked their finger and saw the dark red fluid flow out of it.
It carries life – and has inspired mythology, religion, folklore, and storytellers to view it as a mystical and powerful force.
Your heart pumps blood through your veins – and it moves all through your body.
Let’s use this metaphor to ask a couple of personal development questions,men.
We often call our emotional center our “heart.” And if the physical heart pumps blood through your veins – what is the emotional force that the figurative heart pumps through your veins?
PASSION.
So for the sake of analogy – think of PASSION as BLOOD.
In every man, there is a passion that drive him. Even the tired and weak man has that passion pumping through him – though he may have a weak pulse, or low blood pressure.
But the best men are those that have harnessed and trained their body to work with their flowing passion to get things accomplished.
What are you passionate about? What drives you? What passion flows in your veins?
Take some time to identify the things you are passionate about. Then find a way to embrace and strengthen and train yourself – like an athlete – a finely tuned machine to use them to the best of your ability.
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The one and ultimate motivation for everything I do in my life, every hardship I encounter, every boulder that needs to be pushed up a cliff, is the endless, unrelenting need to prove my own abilities to myself.
Mindset alone isn’t enough to motivate men.
Motivation is a muddy and unreliable thing. It can push you out of a state of mental and physical inertia, but it can also serve as an addiction to self-improvement messages that keeps you from actually doing the self-improvement that needs to be done. Many people find motivation is places where there is little true value to be found.
Instagram posts about “grinding” and “hustling” can get you pumped at that moment, maybe even push you to get something done in your life. But that motivation is short-lived and ultimately meaningless. Because it does not draw from your life and your life experiences.
Other people find motivation in achieving a certain goal.
They see a mountaintop they wish to reach, and then work on their discipline and mental and physical abilities. They keep pushing until they reach it. This is a standard type of motivation for men. We evolved to be seekers, always looking for a new challenge to overcome, a barrier to destroy, a dragon to kill and a princess to save. Yet, this kind of motivation, while being natural and productive, is also very short-lived.
Even when there is an infinite amount of mountaintops, not all of them will be as beautiful and desirable to a man. While a man might give all of himself to reach one of those mountaintops, he might make it– the other mountaintop might not be as motivating to reach. Thus, this kind of motivation inconsistent and lacking in many ways.
There is yet, a third kind of motivation for a man.
Some of us are motivated by proving other people wrong.
A sentiment and mindset well-encompassed in the phrase: “Let them mock, let them laugh, let them doubt and disbelieve and let them watch as you prove them wrong.” This is a strong message and a strong and masculine mindset to adopt. Many men have accomplished great things with this mindset motivating them to give all of themselves to the fight.
The thing I dislike about this mindset as a source for motivation is that, even though this is an internal source of motivation, it is still focused on the opinions and perceptions of other people.
I am a firm believer that, to a good man, opinions of people who are not his family or his tribe, should not matter at all. This is a mindset mostly adopted by people who were bullied or harassed in their younger years, having faced oppression from people who had physical or metaphorical power over them. This is why this mindset brings such a powerful motivating force to a man’s work, because it stems from his experiences and overcoming not a challenge in front of him but a challenge inside of him.
Prove it to yourself
The motivation that I personally use is similar to the previous one I’ve discussed. The motivational mindset of “Proving it to yourself.” This is also rooted in a man’s personal experience of life. But, instead of a focus on the beliefs and opinions of other people, it’s focused on striving to achieve a state of confidence and certainty in one’s own masculine ability to accomplish what one said he will accomplish.
Doing what you say you will do is a strong form of masculine integrity. To have a mindset of proving to yourself that you indeed have that integrity and that ability to do the things that need to be done well and without procrastination will lead to the development of your sense of duty to your own life and confidence and self-esteem in your interactions with other.
Veljko Uskovic I am a 21 year old software engineer and blogger, speaking my truth to the world. Growing up in a society which I recognize as decadent and flawed, with many men failing to fulfil their purpose and being led by false doctrines.
I found myself in need of true wisdom and guidance in regard to being a good man. My blog represents my thoughts and lessons I’ve learned on my path to living a life of positive struggle and growth as a man, I had no one to teach me the things I am teaching myself and I hope that I can help young men as myself to find their way in a world of lies. Escaping depression and meaninglessness through meaningful work and through the development of a healthy and masculine mindset. Check out my blog: The Wolf with the Keyboard
Welcome to our Manlihood ManCast, a podcast for men! In this episode of the Manlihood ManCast, Josh Hatcher reminisces about working for Bill Sauers. Bill owned an antiquated sawmill from the 1800’s – and working for bill taught Josh many lessons.
Listen to this podcast for men now!
Here are some of the life lessons I learned from working with Old Man Bill on the sawmill!
Don’t shovel the same pile poop twice
Work Smarter Not Harder
Don’t let go! (Old Bill and the scaffolding)
Work is it’s own reward (An ode to hard work)
Josh Hatcher wrote a book of poetry that featured some of his stories from working on the sawmill with Bill.
I have no idea what was original, and what has been replaced and hobbled. The antique yellow engine, half the age of the rest sputtered and coughed up diesel, spinning her belt.
The old sawn boards, greyed and cragged by the sun – cracks filled with white pine sawdust.
The old steel, tracks and carriage were black, with orange crust creeping at the edges. We kept it and the massive blade covered with rubber tarps, but moisture always found a way in….
Just enough to leave a little crust, not enough to eat it away.
My job was to clean the bark with an old crowbar. The bath in the deep millpond usually did it’s trick. The bark would shed like t-shirt… mostly in one piece.
We spun the log on the carriage, Old Man Bill and I.
I’d dodge his occasional curses as she played with him.
She’d taunt and tease. After all, she was much older than Old Man Bill.
And I’d stand on the backside of the blade, guiding the timbers over the rollers to the forklift.
On a hot day, she would reward me, coating me with wet sawdust and millpond spray. Oh, the smell of white pine and pond water and diesel was the best summer.
And at the end of the day, the spring that fed the millpond would give me a drink. I’d stick my whole face into the hole in the ground and suck the water in. Drowning just long enough to cool my hot tongue.
