America’s independence is what makes it great – and many have referred to us as “a city on a hill.”

On a personal level, how we live with our independence sets the stage for how others see us, and it can inspire them to live a life that matters too.

No one is perfect, and it’s important to know that no one is really expecting you to be. (If they are – that’s THEIR problem, not yours.) But how we live our lives does matter. What people think of us really does matter. If people see you as a troublemaker, lazy, or dishonest – it will affect your job.

I had a boss who thought I was great. He ran into a former boss at a party. The former boss told the new boss that I was lazy. From that day on – the new boss saw me as lazy.

Whether I was lazy or not – what matters is the perception – and while I think part of independence is living a life that can’t be derailed by the critics – the other part of that balance is recognizing that your freedom isn’t so that you can slack off, lie, or do whatever you want. These things are dangerous to freedom.

To be independent, you also need to be independently moral. Don’t be a good person just because everyone else wants you to be. Don’t be a good person so you can get to heaven someday (and that’s now how that works, by the way) Rather – be a good person because that’s who you ARE.

Part of being independent is recognizing that many are not. There are so many people on this planet who are enslaved or oppressed by any number of circumstances. As a man with independence, it’s up to you to set captives free.

I know that sounds a bit metaphorical – but it’s true.
After America won our war for independence, we became a beacon of hope, and a source of support to other nations who wanted to do the same.

Are there people around you who are enslaved by addictions, or bad attitudes?
Are there women in your town who are stuck in prostitution?
Are there people in poverty in your community who need a hand up?
Are there people who need a friend, a mentor, someone who cares about them just to help them get through the day?

Be that friend, be that hand, be that help, so that people don’t have to stay locked in the patterns that destroy them.

Americans love their independence. We love our freedom. It’s hard wired in each of us to be independent… and this July, we explore what that means

If we keep last week’s post about balance in mind – then we can certainly look at what ti means to be independent – as a virtue.

When we are born into a family, they take responsibility to raise us. They feed, clothe, shelter, nurture, and train us – and then comes the day when all of that responsibility passes back to us. For some, it’s when we graduate high school, or turn 18. For others, it’s when we graduate college. For others – the lines are quite blurry, as they try to navigate their way onto the freeway of life.

It’s vital for a man to stand on his own two feet. While it’s obvious that not everyone’s circumstance or situation is the same, we all need to acknowledge that the idea of “failing to launch” is prevalent. Men who perpetually live at home with their mother, and take no responsibility for their future are really just overgrown boys.

Now I KNOW, that there are circumstances where it’s okay for a man to live at home, to delay his departure. Maybe he’s still going to school, and needs to share expenses. Maybe he needs to stay with mom and pop for a few months to get back on his feet. Maybe mom and dad needs someone to help take care of THEM because of health problems. I’m not judging those situations.

But if you are living at home with no intention of moving out, or no intention of contributing to the living expenses, and well being of the family. If you are an adult, living at home, with no job prospects on the horizon, then listen up.

The most rewarding thing a man can do is to provide for himself, and maybe even be able to give back to his parents for the time they supported him.

I’ll never forget the way I felt the first time I took my parents out to dinner. Usually, they offered to help foot the bill. Which was nice, and I always appreciated it. Even today, I can’t take them out very often. But it really does feel rewarding when I am able to give to mom and dad, knowing how generous and selfless they’ve been to take care of me.

There’s also freedom in knowing that you are in charge of your life. No one can tell you what to do with your life because you pay the bills.

Whatever station you find yourself in – maybe you are a teenager in high school, or a college student, or even a full-blown grown up living in mom’s basement…. start making steps NOW to move out. Get a job. Save your money. Learn skills that will translate into a higher paycheck in the future. Whatever you do – make a commitment to get on your own two feet as soon as it’s humanly possible.