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Marriage - Masculinity - Manhood, Manlihood

June 13 2017

Love Your Wife More Than You Love Yourself – Part 2

Study her.

How well do you know her? I know that now that my wife and I are approaching the time in our life when we’ve been together longer than apart, I know her well. Very well. I can walk in the room, and without a word, I can tell what she’s thinking, or how she’s feeling. (Not always, of course – women, after all, are always mysterious and surprising sometimes.)

As we get older, this relationship changes and morphs. It’s not just physical or emotional. It’s spiritual.

I am not saying we are a perfect example – we frustrate each other and annoy each other all the time. But I can tell you that for almost 20 years, I’ve studied her.

When we were dating – we started out asking each other questions. When we were engaged, we read books together about marriage -and went through THREE different premarital counseling courses. We knew we were getting married young and making what everyone else thought was a bad decision – so we wanted to make sure we were well equipped to face it.

So we started off with a really strong foundation.

As we have progressed in our relationship – I’ve always tried to be attentive to her. She thinks I don’t pay attention – but I do. Sometimes I choose NOT to do the thing that she wants me to do – for any number of reasons. But in general, I want to KNOW this woman I married.

In the bedroom, I know what she likes.
In the kitchen, I know what she likes.

If you want to know how to study and learn your wife, I highly recommend you read the book “The 5 Love Languages” as a starting place.

It breaks down the different ways that people love, and it will help you understand her, and how to communicate with her.

June 6 2017

Love Your Wife More Than You Love Yourself – Part 1

Balance the Old Fashioned ways with freedom and respect.

Sometime during the last cultural revolution, a number of ancient truths have been tossed aside. Losing some old and antiquated ideas may have been good for our culture in some ways- but in others, we’ve lost some of the ancient wisdom that held our society together.
Marriage may seem like an old fashioned idea. I’ve heard it described as “a contract for female slavery” and “a ridiculous old fashioned idea.”

I want to make it clear that I’m admittedly old fashioned about this. I’m proud of it and unapologetic. That doesn’t mean I’m judgmental of those who do things differently.

But I firmly believe that while marriage is old fashioned, it’s also not meant to place women in a lower or lesser place.

Marriage is meant to be a union of two people. Do I think there is a natural authority of husband and father in a home? Yes. But that authority and leadership does not imply inequality.

If you want to love your wife well, then you need to not have a “Leave it to Beaver” June Cleaver definition in your mind of what’s expected of her. Especially in today’s culture, when women work outside the home – don’t demand that she be your house servant as well. Cooking and cleaning are not just women’s work. We all have to chip in. If she is a stay at home wife, it may seem fair to ask her to do more than a wife who is working outside the home as much as you are. But make sure that any expectations you have are communicated and worked out together, not demanded, solely because she’s a woman.

The old fashioned part about marriage that I love – is that it’s about commitment. Life long commitment.

Your wedding vows were not “until I don’t feel like it anymore.”
No – those vows were, “till death do us part.”

I understand that sometimes circumstances arise that change things, that make it difficult, that make it hard.

But make sure that for everything in your power, you do everything possible to honor that commitment. Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t make excuses. Just choose to honor your commitment.

April 25 2017

Sprung: Reinvigorate Your Life – Reimagine your situation

The winter is in your mind.
You know those times when everything has gone WRONG for so long, and you feel like you just can’t get a win? When you’re tired of just going through the motions? When you feel weary from the road?

Take a minute and fast forward to your desired outcome. What does your life look like if you were to lose the weight? What does your marriage look like if you fix the problems? What do your kids look like when they grow up?

Try not to imagine the worst case scenario, but the best one. Then trace your steps back to where you are standing. What steps do you have to make to get there? What changes do you have to make? What sacrifices and hard work will you have to put in?

These rough patches sometimes feel permanent -but they usually aren’t. Especially if you are taking the time to imagine a better path, and to make the changes and put in the work to get there.

April 18 2017

Sprung: Reinvigorate Your Life – Reignite your Spirit

Spring is in the air. The smell of mud and the opening of tree buds just seems to wake up not only the world outside our windows, but it seems to awaken something in us.

Men, let’s take advantage of the natural cycle of the universe to reinvigorate our lives!

Many men have a hard time with the spiritual. They struggle with the idea that spirit exists. Why? Because it’s not knowable. It’s not tangible. And talk of the spiritual gets muddied up by 18 million different religious viewpoints.

I may subscribe to one of those viewpoints, and I’m sure my writing will reflect it. But I’m not here to preach about why my viewpoint is right and others are wrong. (even if I do believe so)

What I’m here to do – is to tell you that the spiritual is real, and you’ve got to keep that fire going. Inside each of us is a spirit that drives us. It’s fueled by creativity, art, poetry, beauty. It’s fueled by thought, conversation, reading.

If you neglect the spiritual part of you, the rest of you will feel hungry for purpose and passion.

How do you reignite it, after a long “winter”?

1. Do what makes you feel alive.
I’m not saying, “ do whatever you want” or “just make yourself happy”
I’m saying, there are moments in your life when you felt alive. For me – it’s often when I’m performing music on stage, speaking to a large group of people, hiking in the woods, or writing. You might feel alive tossing the football in the backyard, hunting that big buck, or building a house. Take some time to identify what makes you feel alive – and do more of it.

2. Define or revisit your code.
Spirituality has a code of ethics. That’s why religion usually has a list of do’s and don’ts…. Because morality is closely tied with the spiritual. I know. People don’t like to think about it. I’ve already lost some of you – who can’t handle the fact that anyone would dare tell you to be moral. Take the time to define your code of ethics, or to revisit that code to make sure it lines up with who you are.

3. Try something new.
2016 was a crazy year for me. I started a new desk job, gained a bunch of weight, and neglected a number of things. I decided one day that I was sick of it and needed to change things. So I started doing and discovering things I didn’t think I could do. I hiked six miles. I lost 40 pounds. I tried on a sweatshirt that I could never wear and it fit. I ice-skated at my daughter’s birthday party. I emceed a major event (in a tux). It was just an amazing year after I decided to do new things. It made me feel like I had awakened. 2017 is shaping up even better.

April 11 2017

Sprung: Reinvigorate Your Life – Reboot your Body

I’m in the process of losing weight – and so I’m particularly aware of my body right now.
But i do know this – our bodies do respond to the seasons! During the winter time, it’s not unusual to pack on a few extra pounds, as we fight off the cold and are often less active.

A reboot in the spring is a great way to get things moving, and add a little more energy into your life as a whole.

I’ve found that adding movement to my routine helps me to fight off depression, keeps my focus on track, and just in general, makes me feel better!

Here are some tips for your body reboot.

1. Revisit your eating plan.
If you aren’t regularly tracking your calories, tracking them at least for a few weeks gives you a good snapshot of what your diet looks like, and if you need to adjust it. Use an app like fitbit or myfitness pal to see how many calories you should be eating, and how many you are eating. Remember – if weight loss is your goal, you have to burn more than you take in. If you want to bulk up- you’ll need to make adjustments to your diet as well. Consider paying a few bucks to meet with a nutritionist.

2. Fasting
This isn’t for everybody – but many people say that a three day fast from solid food, or maybe fasting from a particular kind of food for a week helps them to reset their cravings. There are some mental and spiritual benefits too, as the act of delaying your cravings tends to build a different layer of focus in your life. Don’t try this if you have any health issues, or without talking to a doctor.

3. Change your workout.
Fitness folks call them “plateaus” – those times when you stop losing weight (or stop building muscle) despite all your hard work. Sometimes, you need to radically change your routine to shock your body back into performance mode.
I’ve found in general, if I do the same thing all the time, I get bored with it anyway.
Take a hike instead of the treadmill. Swim instead of yoga. Mix up your strength training to try something different.

March 14 2017

New book on Amazon!

Josh Hatcher has published a new book on Amazon! It’s a book of “manly” poems. You should definitely check it out!

While you’re there, make sure you snag these books too!

January 3 2017

Resolute: Make a lifelong resolution (Part 1)

Every New Year, talk of resolutions start surfacing. In this blog series, we’ll identify what it takes to make a fresh start, and to resolve to change your life permanently.

You may look at me and see a fat man who has wasted way to much money on orange cheese puffs and Mountain Dew. You’re probably right. Every year, I make the resolution that I’ll get healthy, and every year I try and fail. So far, in the past several months, I’ve been on a roll and making progress.

Manlihood contributor, Justin Willoughby lost 600 pounds. He’s not only my personal fitness coach and friend, but he’s helping to inspire many people to think beyond a New Year’s resolution.

When it comes to fitness, he’ll tell you – it’s got to be a lifelong commitment to change.

And I know from experience in other areas of my life, that this truth rings and resonates to the core of everything.

Whatever it is that you want to change this year – whatever part of your life that needs a reboot- it doesn’t work unless you resolve to make a lifelong change. As long as we view the New Year as a resolution starter, it gives us an out, because we can start over in ten months if we fail after two. I can tell you, if we’re talking about weight loss, that’s why I have probably lost the same 20 pounds 20 times!

Take some time this week to identify an area of your life that needs to change.
Your relationship with your spouse, your parenting skills, your work habits, launching a new career as a writer, becoming a more positive person – whatever it is that needs to change in your life.

Identify it.
And start meditating on what it means to change it permanently.

You don’t have to be stuck at a job you hate for the rest of your life. You don’t have to walk on eggshells because you are afraid your wife is going to leave you. You don’t have to be afraid about your kids making bad choices. You don’t have to be fat, or tired all of the time. All of those things can be fixed – but all of those things will require you to change. And change doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t happen just because you say it will.

It starts with aligning your head and your heart with your destination, and it finishes when you fulfill your commitment. If you want to lose weight, you can lose it – but if you don’t commit to changes for the rest of your life you’re going to be in the same place you are now. You can resolve to be a better husband, but if you fall back into the same patterns of behavior, you’ll find yourself in the doghouse again.

It’s not just about changing behavior, it’s about changing your lifestyle.

That starts in your mind, and flows out from there – but change requires commitment, or you will always return to your old self by default.

November 21 2016

FREE BOOK til 11-22

Hello guys! I hope everyone is having an incredible day.

I didn’t want you to miss this opportunity for a free book – and would really appreciate it if you could get this book even if you dont plan to read it for a while or whatever reason.

If you havent taken advantage of this free deal – please do so and share it with as many people as possible. I would love for everyone to get this for free before it goes on sale online on the 23rd.

Why “the REAL secret?”

Simple.

I am personally fed up with “new age” philosophy copying Jesus and stealing/tricking/slandering the real truth from a mass majority of people.

The premise from the best seller, “the Secret” is that you can ask the UNIVERSE for manifestation through the Law of Attraction.

Is that all wrong? Perhaps the concept is not?

But the beneficiaries are completely different.

The world didnt make itself – God did.

Why thank God’s creation when you have an open door to speak to God and ask him for his goodness?

Well, because God might not grant it – WRONG! He said he would – but of course critics already knew that, right?

It is time to come back to the REAL source! GOD! My hearts desire is for the Lord to be magnified! For him to get the rightful praise and honor he deserves – one fit for a king!

Jesus is more than capable to give you your hearts desires. God is so much bigger than what you are asking for.

Ask – Believe and RECEIVE it through the REAL source – the REAL secret – God himself!

Learn what the HOLY scriptures have to say.

Claim them for you – because the message was for all!

Realize – What Jesus did before – he will do again and again.

God isn’t a liar – he is waiting for you to claim your rightful inheritance!

Download the free copy of the book by clicking on the book cover – you will be glad that you did!

My best

Andrew Wright

andrewwrightguru@gmail.com

October 17 2016

Get the ebook TODAY!

Get the new ebook from Josh Hatcher on Amazon HERE.
Josh’s book explores the 12 pillars of masculinity as he sees them, with wit, humility, and challenging insights.

See what others are saying!

“This excellent author has provided this book for the reading of us all, but primarily for men to read. From teenagers to older men, single or married, the 12 pillars are helpful guidelines containing powerful words to encourage growth. Josh Hatcher offers great advice and encouragement. Recent graduates, a new groom, a man recovering from poor choices or addiction, ANY man, would benefit from Manlihood: The 12 Pillars of Masculinity.”

“In this book, Joshua Hatcher explores manhood in its purest sense and helps his readers discover what it truly means to be a man in today’s society. Though geared toward men, women can benefit greatly from Mr. Hatcher’s book as well, as it will help them to not only recognize true men and raise them one day, but apply these things to their own lives. Josh combines timeless wisdom with smart social commentary and fresh takes on old ideas, creating this inspiring and exciting masterpiece. I highly recommend reading this book, no matter your age, gender, social standing–whatever the case may be–as it will revolutionize your ideas of manhood and possibly even what it means to be an ethical and wise human being.”

“This is a phenomenal book. Josh Hatcher lays it all out about what it means to be a man and the action steps you should take to be the best man you are capable of. It is just great. I will be reading it a few more times at least. Whether you are a young boy looking for guidance or a grown man wanting to improve as a man, this book is for you. It was very well written and is a wealth of information.”

“You would think this content is common sense, but sadly in this day and age, it is not. I want to personally thank this author for his calling to help males become the men they are supposed to be. Very concise and easy to read, this is important to me. Two thumbs up!”

“Filled with timeless truths not only for men, young and old, but for everyone desiring to grow as a person. Josh has presented principles of manhood in an accessible way that can be a great outline for mentoring and personal growth.”

Get the ebook today!!

September 19 2016

3 Tips to a Better Conversation

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There are so many different ways to enter a conversation and start a conversation with someone you want to speak with that the options are unlimited. This shouldnt make you feel hopeless, but hopeful!

Conversations can go so many different ways, but you can steer them to go in a positive direction – and ultimately a direction that BENEFITS you, not hurt you.

Here are 3 Tips in starting a conversation with ANYONE of any sex, race, and creed.

1. Have an opener ready for the given situation

An opener? What is that?

An opener is a simple way that you are going to enter the conversation that displays you have social confidence and that there is a bit of intelligence behind the curtain – that someone “is at home” so to speak.

Some are doing this without even knowing what they are doing. My wife will do it all the time when we are out at the store. She is so good at talking to random strangers. She will see someone in the medical aisle, use the OBSERVATION approach (without knowing what she is going) and say something like “Oh, my son just had a cold and it works fantastic! Are your little ones getting this cold too?” Bam – my wife is locked for the next 15-20 minutes. What did she do besides the observation opener? Read number 2.

2. Quickly make the conversation/question about them

At this phase of the conversation, now is not the time to be asking questions that will get one word answers. Those come off as awkward and will create dead space. Dead space = bad. Dead space shows you lack social status and you are TRYING to hard. Having them talk about themselves transitions that. What is really funny was when I was working this stuff out, I would ask a one word answer question, then try to follow it up with an observational question to TRY to get them talking – forget it! You will lose interest almost immediately with one word answer type questions.

Want to be the best conversationalist? Learn how to get someone to talk about themselves.

3. Listen and Respond.

There was some truth about dating, relationships, and conversations that you could have taken away from the Will Smith movie, HITCH. That is when you are engaging in a conversation “listen and respond.” I know that sounds so simple, but it is so hard to do. Listen to what they are saying in the conversation, then respond intellegently, sarcastically, or intrigued. You can really demonstrate your personality in your responses as well. Getting them to laugh will draw instant likability as well. Dont be afraid to share your emotions about a certain topic – mirror them to see what is going to be appropriate – if they are sad – respond/mirror with sympathy. If they are excited – be excited! Mirroring is highly effective and will definitely help you increase your likability in your conversation.

3.5 Have fun.

This one goes along with anything you are working on within yourself – Have fun – for goodness sake have fun, would ya? Lighten up. You get shot down, or it feels awkward – turn and smile – even laugh about a fail. Tell your friends and if they dont pick on you about it – make new friends that will laugh WITH you. Go out and have some fun – this world is too big to be serious all the time.

Until next time!

Andrew G. Wright Sr.

You can get more helpful tips from Andrew in his book, “How To Talk To Anyone!” Andrew shares his wisdom of conversations that he has learned while in the field of life. Struggling with a disability, Andrew had to pay extra attention to conversations and social metrics – if anyone can help you with social anxiety and talking with others – Andrew can.

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