general manliness
Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 3 – Be Pro-Active
My friend Mike McAvoy is a pastor at Open Arms Community Church. I love the way he breaks down biblical truth and reframes it in ways that make sense – even if you do not subscribe to the same belief system. Many of the things I’ve learned from Mike have had a big impact on my life – but I want to share this one with you.
A Thermometer measures the temperature in the room. It is reactive. A Thermostat sets the temperature in the room. It is Pro-Active. Be a Thermostat.
The truth is that we Dad’s set the temperature of our homes – if we’re grumpy – everyone is grumpy. (Preaching to myself here folks!)
But more importantly – if we are reacting to the stress, if we are reacting to our kid’s mouthiness, if we are reacting to our frustrations with our wives, then we are operating in such a way that we are causing damage. We’re not supposed to measure the temperature – we’re supposed to set it!
Instead of REACTING to the stress of the situation – we need to be PROACTIVE – that means takign the time to think ahead and try to prevent it. It means when a situation occurs, our approach is to offer solutions, not complaints!
Tune in Next Week, for Welcome To Daddyhood: Be a Better Man
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe today to make sure you get these emails in your inbox!
Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 2 – Be Involved
I remember the moment when I found out that my wife was not only pregnant with one child- but with TWINS. (Those twins were born on our one year wedding anniversary – which was the Fourth of July – they’ll be 16 this summer!)
It was one of the scariest and most exciting moments of my life. There was no air in that little exam room when the nurse swung around the ultrasound machine, and I saw two little lumps of love on the screen.
Being a dad has been the most rewarding thing I’ve done in this life. I hope that when I die – and people talk about me, the first thing they say is, “He was such a good dad.”
I know I’ve not been a perfect father – but I am proud of how my kids are turning out. Sometimes because of me and sometimes in spite of me.
Kids need their dads to Be Involved. This means so many things – not the least of which is conversation. Have a conversation with your kids every day. Ask about their day, about their school, about their homework.
When they are too young to talk? Talk to them anyway!
(Note – Mom needs you to be involved too – change diapers, clean up messes, rock babies to sleep)
Play games, build towers, dig holes, wrestle in the floor, and jump in leaves.
Kids love and need to have fun with Dad. Be sure to include Mom in this nonsense. She might say she doesn’t have time for such things – but she needs them too!
Kids need you to be involved in the not so fun stuff too – discipline – correction – punishment.
Dad, you really need to take the LEAD in these things – rather than just ignore them and leave them for Mom to do!
Tune in Next Week, for Welcome To Daddyhood: Be Pro-Active
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe today to make sure you get these emails in your inbox!
Welcome To Daddyhood – Part 1 – Be Present
Fatherhood is one of those things that scares the living pants off many a young man. It’s really nothing to be afraid of – and yet it’s nothing to take lightly.
If I were to give advice to any dad, it’s to be present. Your children, from newborns to adults need their father’s to be present in their lives.
Even during those teen years when they act like you are the great satan – they need you to be present. In fact – I say especially during this time in their lives!
In today’s economy, it’s easy to be the dad that has to work overtime, or take a second job. It’s easy to get so busy working to provide for our family that we neglect them! What if we simplified our budgets, so that we lived within our means – and didn’t need to work so much?
(WHAT? DID HE JUST SAY THAT? Yes. I did.)
The truth is – our kids need our presence. They need to know we are here. If our job is to set an example for them – they need to actually see us live our lives – see how we react in situations – and experience life with us.
Your kids don’t deserve an ipad, or a new car, or whatever thing you want to give them – what they deserve is a dad who loves them and spends time with them.
I know that not every family is a clean-cut nuclear Mom and Dad at home situation – but I think ever father needs to do whatever he can to be present in the lives of his kids. If you are in a situation where you have not been – fight for it. Don’t give up till you get it. Don’t be a jerk about it – don’t “fight” mom – but “fight” whatever things tell you to just give up. Send cards, make phone calls, pay your support, and do whatever you can to be present in the lives of your children.
If you haven’t been living this way – it’s never too late to make a change. Let me encourage you to reach out to your kids – and carve out some time to show them love.
Tune in Next Week, for Welcome To Daddyhood: Be Involved
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe today to make sure you get these emails in your inbox!