I’m putting together a group of men who want to make a radical change in their lives. We’ll set goals, break them down into actionable steps, and then hold each other accountable each week with a check in and each month with a call.
Imagine waking up in 2024 and being a completely different person.
Basically – in 2023, we’re going to set some big hairy goals, we’re going to break them down and we’re going to do them.
1. This is going to cost you some money. 2. This is going to be hard as hell. 3. This is going to be worth every penny and every ounce of pain you put into this.
EMAIL Me if you want to do this. mail@joshhatcher.com
WANTED: Men Thirsty For Adventure and Ready to CHANGE.
A few years ago I wrote a book and workbook called “Change Your Life in a Year”
I wrote it after doing it. I wrote and published several books. I lost 100 pounds.
I changed my mindset and my attitude. Life was going the way I wanted.
I find myself in a spot where I need to go through that process again. I need to go to the next level.
I want to take some guys with me.
Basically – in 2023, we’re going to set some big hairy goals, we’re going to break them down and we’re going to do them.
1. This is going to cost you some money. 2. This is going to be hard as hell. 3. This is going to be worth every penny and every ounce of pain you put into this.
EMAIL Me if you want to do this. mail@joshhatcher.com
DON’T EMAIL ME if you are going to complain or make excuses. You either want to be a different person in 2024 or you want to stay the same. DON’T EMAIL ME if you expect everything for free. DON’T EMAIL ME if you are not teachable and coachable. DON’T EMAIL ME if you think you’re better than me, or that I’m better than you. We’re in this together.
When he was 16 years old, Justin was given a death sentence by the doctors. He weighed 799 pounds. Crippled by anxiety, panic attacks, and an eating disorder, his body became his prison.
Listen to Justin Willoughby on the Manlihood ManCast on Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Youtube or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Set Goals. Do the Work. Change Your Life. WITH BROTHERS. – Join the Arrows and Iron Brotherhood – http://manlihood.com/brotherhood
One Step
Justin’s first workout was one step. The next day, it was two. Eventually, those steps would become a milestone that changed his life forever.
600 Pounds Down
Over the next several years, Justin lost 600 pounds without weight loss drugs or surgery, and now he has dedicated his life to helping others get fit, and live a life free from obesity.
Alonzo talks with Manlihood about the traditional values he believes in, and how it matters that men work to live by and preserve those values.
Leadership matters
“When we promote leaders, we typically promote based on skills other than leadership and this creates dysfunctional organizations. Leadership is a skill that can be learned and my simple and effective method can improve your team quickly.” – Alonzo Pettigrew
Sweat, blood, seawater, sand. Caked all over my face. I could HEAR smoke. I could SMELL the cries of my wounded brothers. On mission. Storm the beach. Take the high ground. Push them back. Kill the Nazi’s.
D-Day was a battle like no other.
Lou’s grandfather landed on that beach.
“This operation is not being planned with any alternatives. This operation is planned as a victory, and that’s the way it’s going to be. We’re going down there, and we’re throwing everything we have into it, and we’re going to make it a success.”
General Dwight D Eisenhower
I don’t have such a direct connection to the real event, as far as I know, but I do know that this date, which will live in infamy, is also the anniversary of my own internal battle.
Life was a whirlwind of chaos. Missed deadlines, jobs not panning out. Spinning the Roulette Wheel of “What Bill Doesn’t Get Paid This Month.” And the fog and stench of my own personal war was ever present.
I didn’t believe in ADHD.
It was just something the pharmaceutical companies made up. I didn’t dare take any medication. I didn’t want to inhibit my creativity. It wasn’t a chemical imbalance anyway.
And there I say, watching yet another ball get dropped. Yet another of my “soldiers” fall on the shore.
I was buried under responsibilities I couldn’t even wrap my head around.
My friend had similar struggles. He sent me a text. “Dude. You up? Can I call you?” He had lost a lot of weight, I knew this was one of “those calls.” I’d had a thousand of them from well-meaning friends who tried to help.
He told me about his ketogenic diet. (I have literally tried it before)
He told me about the ADHD medication he was taking. (I was skeptical)
He told me, “Man. Do this with me. You can do it. I’ll help you.”
Okay, Dennis. I’m game. I’m tired of this. Where do I start?
He told me to go look at myself in the mirror. Do you see that ugly guy? Tell him you hate him. That you don’t want to see him again. Then make a fist, look at that fist. When you see that ugly guy, you punch him down.
I went to the mirror. Even at 430 pounds, I said, “Dang. I’m sexy!”
Dennis, it’s not working.
His internal fuel is different from mine, for sure.
Self-hatred might motivate some, but I’m too cocky for that.
We will accept nothing less than full victory! Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.
Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Supreme Allied Commander, 6 June 1944.
A few days later, June 6, 2018, I sat outside in the warm June air. And started thinking about D-Day.
D-Day wasn’t just about the taking of that beach at Normandy.
V-E Day was the day of victory over Europe. It was 11 months later. V-J Day was the day of victory over Japan. It was 14 months later.
D-Day was called that because it was the DECISION DAY – the day of decisive victory. Because we won that battle, victory for the rest of the war was assured.
There was a lot more war after that. A lot more carnage and cost and casualty.
But at THAT battle at Omaha Beach, our boots on the ground, our transports dumping men off in droves to overwhelm on stronghold, we changed the course of the war.
“God almighty, in a few short hours we will be in battle with the enemy. We do not join battle afraid. We do not ask favors or indulgence but ask that, if You will, use us as Your instrument for the right and an aid in returning peace to the world.”
Lt Col Robert L Wolverton, commanding officer of 3rd battalion, 506th PIR.
As I thought about that battle, and what it meant, I decided, then and there, that it was my D-Day. I was going to make the choice to never go back. I would not be the same.This day would decide the course of the rest of my life.
I talked to my doctor. I decided to give some medication a shot.
I decided to give a ketogenic diet a shot.
I took a new job.I decided that I’ll be a rockstar at it and I WILL excel.
I changed my attitude about everything. I will not say “I can’t” anymore.
I determined to lead my family the way they need to be led. I determined to love my wife the way she needs to be loved. I determined to lead myself the way I need to be led. I determined to stop accepting a poverty mindset. I determined to be who I’m meant to be. It was the day of decisive victory.
And one at a time – my own V-Days keep arriving.
Last D-Day, I set my first goal of losing 100 pounds by June 6. And I’m there. I’ve done it. If that goal has taught me anything – it’s that setting my intention, and saying that I can and will do something is powerful.
I wish I could say that all my problems were fixed, but I can say that they are getting better. Meeting this goal has transformed my way of thinking. It has empowered me. I have no desire to stay the same. I have no desire to remain defeated. I will not.
I want you to make this your D-Day. What changes do you need to make? What do you want to accomplish? What mindsets do you need to change? What goals do you need to set?
Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Write down your goals. Write down this sentence.
Starting today, I will ______________________ and I will celebrate my victory one year from today
https://soundcloud.com/user-625797602/episode-23-be-aggressiveassertivepositive-1618-436-pm
Episode 23: Be Aggressive/Assertive/Positive
Passive men will let life happen to them. They will say, “Whatever!” when faced with a decision – they will let their wives and kids make and break the rules of their home. They’ll let their boss walk all over them. They’ll let their business, health, and relationship fall apart instead of dealing with them.
My advice is to be AGGRESSIVE – ASSERTIVE – POSITIVE
Be Aggressive
Take charge of YOUR life – and lead yourself. Hunt out the holes in your integrity, and patch them up. Set goals and crush them. Determine your path – and run it like a stinking clydesdale.
Aggression has a negative connotation – so we want to clarify – unless you are physically protecting yourself or your family from harm – aggressiveness should not be directed toward people.
Be Assertive
Communicate expectations clearly, and consistently. People cannot treat you the way you want them to treat you unless you tell them HOW to treat you. Don’t be afraid to be “the bad guy”
Be Positive
Eyeore will NEVER be on top – why? because he’s a sad-sack-hack full of sawdust and complaints.
You’ve got to use positive words. Because they are like magic.
Instead of dragging yourself and everyone around you down with negative words (I can’t /You always… / I hate… / I’ll never… ) then start filling it with positivity!
This post was originally published in February of 2015. Read the full post here: http://www.manlihood.com/the-perils-of-passivity-be-aggressiveassertivepositive/
Every Monday At Manlihood.com – we celebrate men of courage, valor, creativity, innovation, and honor. We celebrate men who have accomplished great things, that have set good examples, and then have made the world a better place. This is #mancrushmonday
Justin Willoughby is one of my best friends. I hate to overdo my “mancrush” on Justin – but he really is an inspiration to me. I first met Justin at Wal-mart. He was about 600 pounds at that point. He had already lost almost 200 pounds, but I didn’t know that. I just remember seeing this massive kid struggling to push a shopping cart around the store with an oxygen tank. And I saw him eating a Snickers Bar. My first initial thought was a bit judgmental, “Who is this fat kid, and why is he eating a candy bar?” (I found out later that he had just spent hours walking around Wal-mart as exercise – and that candy bar was his first in months. It was his reward for his consistent hard work!) I later met Justin again at church – and by this point, he had lost another 200 pounds. He was still big, but by this point, this young man had literally hacked his way out of a prison of fat. He continued to work hard to lose the weight, and now he is 600 pounds lighter. He has dedicated his life to helping other people achieve their goals, in weight loss and life. Check out his website here. Check out his interview on the TODAY SHOW
Every New Year, talk of resolutions start surfacing. In this blog series, we’ll identify what it takes to make a fresh start, and to resolve to change your life permanently.
You cannot be a new man overnight. You may find redemption and have it applied in an instant. Forgiveness can be quick…. But change, my brother, takes time. There are always exceptions. Men who quit smoking cold turkey. Men who were knocked off a horse and blinded and went from killing Christians to serving them. Yes, sometimes change is instant. But most of the time, change is the result of consistent baby steps. You don’t lose 100 pounds overnight. You don’t change your mindset in an instant. You also don’t change (for the better) by accident.
As you look at the man you want to be, set your goals. Give them a realistic time frame, and then take the time to lay out the steps it will take to get there. You want to quit drinking soda. But you keep coming back to it. So set a date. In six months, I want to be soda free. Then make a plan for how you are going to get there. Maybe a step down to diet soda. Then maybe once a week instead of once a day. Give each step a time frame. You want to be a more positive person? Great. That’s a lot harder to quantize. Maybe you start by saying, “I will say ten positive things today.” Make sure that your “gains” are marked by incremental milestones. Make sure you celebrate those milestones! If your resolution is fuzzy, and requires you to instantly be something that you are not yet, your resolve will get weary, and you’ll never change.
As little kids rush off to school with their shiny new backpacks and lunch pails, Men, let’s take a look at our own education. Let’s invest in a bit of self-education to raise the bar in our own lives, learning new skills, useful information, and adding value to our lives.
Don’t confuse natural talents with skills.
Natural talents are things you are naturally good at doing. They can be refined and sharpened with hard work and practice, but the basic intuitive abilities are there.
A skill is learned, practiced, and developed. Natural talents may indicate what skills you would be best suited for, but a skill is not hard-wired.
For example – you may be a naturally talented singer, and you may work hard to develop that talent, and become great at it.
You might not know, though, how to build a guitar from scratch. So maybe, you decide this is a skill you would like to learn.
Is there a skill you want to add to your utility belt? Follow this checklist to turn it from an idea to an accomplishment.
1. Identify a skill that you have the natural capacity to learn. If you are tone deaf, you probably shouldn’t try to become a singer. However, if you have hands, you can learn to build. If you can walk, you can learn to run.
2. Research your skill. My dad always told me that you can learn anything you want to know in a book. Now that my dad has entered the digital age, he’s amended his statement to say that you can learn anything you want to know from Google. And he’s right. Want to learn a skill? Find out WHAT you need to learn – just do a simple google search, identify websites, videos, books, tutorials, etc. that will give you the information that you need.
3. Make a plan. “Failure to plan is planning to fail.” Take the time to sketch out a plan, a schedule, and goals for the process of learning your skill. That includes time to go through the research you’ve collected, time to practice it yourself, and people that you may need to connect with for mentorship or advice.
4. Execute your plan. Information without application is useless data. Take the information that you’ve assembled, and the plan you’ve sketched out – and actually do it. You can SAY you want to build a chicken coop – but until you build it – you are not a chicken farmer. You can’t learn a new skill without implementing that learning. Chances are – it’s fear of failure that stops you from actually executing the plan. And as ANY learner can tell you – sometimes failure is part of that learning process. Be prepared to take the risks.
