Fixing my Vision

It’s time to take a break!

I have some good news! Some of you may know about my cataracts, – and the limiting effect it’s had on my vision. For those of you haven’t heard, I’ve had a steady decrease in my vision for a couple of years now, and because of a variety of complications, it took awhile for the doctors to determine the cause.

Now that we know it is caused by cataracts, we have a plan

The surgery is normally simple, but because of my small pupils, there are some extra complications.

The other complication is of my own making. I have not been taking the best care of my body and put some weight back on. Some of you know that I had lost 100 pounds in a year- but I’ve gained back some of that weight. It was my own choices, and I have been paying the price for it with inflammation and struggle. Now, that weight is actually threatening my vision.

When the doctor set my surgery date, I need to have my BMI lowered to a certain percentage in order to minimize the risk of some kind of rupture in my eyes.

Basically, I have to lose 40 pounds before the surgery.

Now, this post has been scheduled ahead – so by the time you’re reading this, I am well on my way toward crushing that goal.

But I am realizing that as I have to put a significant amount of time into meal prep, physical activity and more, I have got to pull back so that I can focus.

What does that mean for Manlihood?

Well, a few things. First of all, it means that I’ve got to take some time off from my weekly solo shows that release on Tuesdays. I’ll be back, probably around summer, or maybe sooner. You’ll see a new and improved Josh Hatcher – one most likely without glasses, and one that is a good bit skinnier.

I will continue to release my interview shows. I’ve got several shows recorded and “in the hopper” ready to go out, and a few more interviews scheduled over the next couple weeks. Which means that there will still be episodes of the Manlihood ManCast released weekly – but for now, the focus will be on our interview shows.

It also means that I’ve been challenged. There’s a part of my character that has been week – a chink of my own masculinity that has kept me weaker, and lesser than I should be.

I avoid pain at all costs. And to grow and get stronger (and lose weight) – there is going to be pain. Self Discipline is painful.

And I have learned to comfort my emotions and entertain myself with food that is bad for me. I protect myself from my painful emotions sometimes with sugar and salt and fat and chemicals that taste yummy. And the unwanted side effect is a soft armor around my entire body.

My armor of fat doesn’t protect me, though. In fact, it invites dirty looks and smart-ass remarks, makes my clothes uncomfortable, makes my body off-balance and clumsy, and feeds the internal shame monster that keeps the cycle going.

My pain avoidance doesn’t help me either. Because while I avoid the pain in my muscles and joints from walking, running, lifting, stretching – I’m just causing myself more pain in my joints and muscles.

Now I’ve got a temporary motivator. Lose 40 pounds fast so that my eyes can get fixed. The PAIN of being almost blind has been frightening and frustrating beyond belief.

That’s just a small amount of how much this fat man needs to lose. I’ve lost hundreds of pounds over and over and over again for years.
So this temporary goal has to push beyond. I can’t stay here.

I can’t lead this movement if I’m blind.
And I can’t lead this movement well if I’m living in the sin of a lack of self-control and pain avoidance.

SO.

It’s time. Let’s do this.