She Says Men Aren’t Listening — Here’s What We’re Missing (with Relationship Coach Jeanell Greene)
If you’re a man who’s ever walked away from a conversation with your wife thinking, “I’m trying… but I still don’t know what she wants from me,” you’re not alone. One of the biggest reasons men feel misunderstood in relationships isn’t because we don’t care — it’s because no one ever taught us how to communicate in a way women actually hear.
Watch this episode:
Today’s conversation is with Jeanell Greene, Certified Life + Relationship Coach and the woman some call “The Man Whisperer” for the way she helps men understand communication, connection, and emotional safety in a relationship. And she doesn’t sugarcoat anything — she gets right to the heart of what men are missing.
Why So Many Men Feel Misunderstood
Jeanell told me something early in the interview that hit hard:
“Vulnerability is power. Because what we all want is connection — and we can’t experience connection when we’re afraid to show who we are.”
Most men were raised to hide emotion, avoid conflict, and solve problems alone. But the more we shut down emotionally, the more our relationships suffer.
Jeanell works with men every day who feel stuck, frustrated, or misunderstood — and she says the issue isn’t ability, it’s conditioning:
“Men aren’t broken — they’re just conditioned not to feel.”
When you can’t express what’s happening inside, your partner often thinks you’re distant or uninterested… when you’re really trying not to fail her.
“You’re Not Listening!” — What She Really Means
If your partner has ever said:
- “You don’t listen.”
- “You don’t understand me.”
- “Why don’t you care?”
…it doesn’t mean you’re doing everything wrong.
It usually means the emotional connection is misfiring.
Jeanell explains:
“Women expect men to be mind readers — and men expect women to think logically. Both sides end up disappointed.”
Men communicate to solve problems.
Women communicate to feel connected.
And those two approaches crash into each other unless we learn how to bridge the gap.
Why Men Shut Down (And Why It Makes Everything Worse)
When a man feels guilt, shame, or inadequacy, he often withdraws.
Not because he doesn’t love her.
Not because he doesn’t want to fix things.
But because:
- He doesn’t want to make it worse.
- He doesn’t know the “right” thing to say.
- Her emotions feel overwhelming.
- He doesn’t have a safe place to express his own feelings.
Jeanell says:
“When men feel guilt or shame, the instinct is to hide, defend, or shut down. But healing only happens when you lean in — not when you withdraw.”
Avoiding the discomfort keeps the relationship stuck.
Leaning in — even when it feels unnatural — breaks the cycle.
The Communication Skills Men Were Never Taught
Jeanell shared practical tools that immediately change the tone of a conversation.
1. Ask More Questions
Instead of offering solutions, try:
“Help me understand what you’re feeling right now.”
2. Validate What She Feels
You don’t need to agree — just acknowledge:
“I can see that really hurt you.”
3. Listen With Your Face
Put the phone down.
Turn your body toward her.
Let your presence communicate safety.
4. Share What’s Happening Inside You
Not dumping emotions — just letting her in:
“I’m confused, but I want to understand.”
“I’m overwhelmed, but I’m here with you.”
This is how masculine vulnerability works — strong, honest, grounded.
What About When Trust Has Been Broken?
Jeanell has helped many couples recover from infidelity, secrecy, and major betrayal — often faster than people expect.
Her approach:
“Most couples don’t need years of therapy. They need honesty, empathy, and new habits they can actually keep.”
Rebuilding trust requires:
- Owning the impact
- Leaning into her pain, not avoiding it
- Staying consistent with new actions
- Making clear promises — and keeping them
According to Jeanell:
“You can rebuild trust fast when you repair the emotional bond correctly.”
There is always hope when both people lean in.
A Final Word to Men
Near the end of the interview, Jeanell shared this:
“We all have a 5-year-old inside who just wants to be loved and accepted. When we treat each other with that kind of grace, everything changes.”
Men:
You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need all the answers.
You don’t need to be a mind reader.
You just need to be willing to grow — and willing to be honest with yourself and the person you love.
Connect with Jeanell Greene
Website: https://jeanellgreene.com
Her recent article:
https://usanews.com/newsroom/why-good-men-struggle-in-marriage-and-how-to-rebuild-trust-intimacy-and-partnership-fast
If you know someone struggling in their marriage, she welcomes referrals.
