Commitment is value that every man needs to understand. It really defines the heart of what true manhood is. Are you a man known for commitment? Can others describe you as a committed man? In this blog series, we’ll explore the idea of commitment, and what it means to your life.
Freud was the son of a Jewish merchant who had to move his whole family to Vienna because he couldn’t get work. He, as a boy, had to watch his father be mocked and abused on the street for being Jewish… You develop a thick skin and you develop a certain kind of wit to defend yourself.
A thick skin is a gift from God.
When you’re onstage and you know you’re bombing, that’s very, very scary. Because you know you gotta keep going – you’re bombing, but you can’t stop. And you know that half an hour from now, you’re still gonna be bombing. It takes a thick skin.
Listen, men. When you make a commitment, whether that commitment is a relationship, or an employment position, or a commitment to a personal goal – there are going to be words thrown at you.
And I don’t care how tough you are – words can hurt (and conversely, can heal.)
If you want your commitment to stick, to work… you have to be able to sift through the words that come at you, and sort them in the right piles.
The first thing is to make sure that the words don’t cut straight through to your core. If you are easily offended, or sensitive, it might not be so easy.
I find that I have to have a verbal conversation with myself sometimes – and put on my “sorting hat” to review the words that are said to me or about me.
It starts by evaluating the statement, and asking, “Is there truth in this?” and if so – I have to respond or apply to the truth. Then I have to ask, “Is this meant to hurt or help me?” and then deal with it accordingly.
But if I roam around like a landmine, waiting for someone to step on my little tender heart and make me explode, then I will not be able to stick with my commitments.
Thick skin isn’t just put on – it’s developed, it’s grown. And I think that happens when we learn to separate ourselves from the conversations and deal with them with our emotions put aside for a little bit. Our skin gets stronger and stronger as we do that.