In November 2020, Josh Hatcher spoke at Open Arms Church in Bradford, PA as a part of their “By Design” series. He spoke about God’s Design for men. Below are Josh’s sermon notes.
Manliness isn’t defined by outside appearance.
Manhood isn’t just one thing. God made men with different strengths and different traits. Don’t just write yourself off as “Not Manly” because you’re different than someone else.
Women – don’t tune me out. A lot of the things I’m saying today apply to both men and women. A lot of the things I’m saying specifically ABOUT men will help you understand how to relate to men better.
But for the most part – I’m speaking to the MEN today.
God made men. And he said it was good.
We learned last week that what was not good was that he was alone.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2: 18
In the King James, it says “a help meet for him.”
That means “equal to him.”
Men and women both have value. Equal Value. We were made distinctly and for a purpose. God’s purpose.
But, generally speaking, Men are VERY different than women. There are things in our DNA that are hard-coded, because God made men the way we are on purpose.
Ryan Michler says: Men are created to Protect, Provide, and Preside.
We are made in God’s image right? God is a protector! He commands us to protect the widow, the orphan, the refugee…
… When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.
Luke 12:48 NIV
This is not a series about marriage – but many of the bible’s instructions for men are within the context of a marriage relationship. I’m not saying we should treat all women like we treat our wives… certainly not. But I think God’s instructions for how we are to treat our wives gives us a glimpse into what it means to be a man.
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
1 Peter 3: 7 NIV
Some translations say “weaker vessel” – Do not mistake “weaker” for “lesser.”
Because a man is generally stronger than a woman – he should view her not as delicate – but as precious.
A woman is a Ming Vase. A Ming Vase isn’t weak – it’s survived for thousands of years. But it is precious. We treat it with the honor and respect that it is due.
We see all through scripture commands regarding how we should treat women and children, and those who are “weaker.”
The root word “weaker” here is also used in Corinthians to describe the fact that God will use the “weaker” things to confound the wise. (weaker does not mean lesser)
“A man of honor values things rightly.” – Chuck Holton, Making Men
Our job as men is to give things the right amount of honor.
Cussing out your kid because he interrupted your kill shot in Call of Duty – is that placing the proper value on the right thing?
Watching porn – now that you KNOW that the women in porn are often exploited and forced into that industry.. Is that placing the value on the right thing?
Turning a blind eye to injustice…. Is that valuing things rightly?
WE ARE MADE TO PROTECT.
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8 NIV
Don’t you remember the rule we had when we lived with you? “If you don’t work, you don’t eat.” And now we’re getting reports that a bunch of lazy good-for-nothings are taking advantage of you. This must not be tolerated. We command them to get to work immediately—no excuses, no arguments—and earn their own keep. Friends, don’t slack off in doing your duty.
2 Thessalonians 3:10
Butthurt Disclaimers for you
— Just because your wife makes more than you does not mean you are less of a man.
— If you are disabled and can’t work to provide for yourself I’m not condemning you or judging your situation – what CAN you do to contribute to your family and community?
Your job is to make sure that God’s provision gets to your family.
Your job is to not be a mooch, and to earn your keep.
I’m not shaming needy people. I understand what it’s like to need help.
But I am saying – your goal should be able to provide for your own needs and the needs of your family.
It must suck to have to pay child support. It must really suck to be a kid whose dad resents taking care of him.
Men are called to walk in AUTHORITY and LEADERSHIP, in their homes, jobs, communities, churches.
Let’s talk about what this is not:
…Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.
This is NOT a command for men’s authority. This is the curse.
(Story about a little kid getting caught with chewing tobacco. Dad says, if you’re gonna chew it – you better chew all of it. Kid gets sick and pukes. Is the PUKE what God wants?)
Don’t confuse the curse for a special privilege for us men.
It is not: “Eve screwed up, now I’m the Boss.”
This is about the consequences of sin. There will be tension and contention between men and women because of sin. That’s not the blessing. That’s the curse.
While we’re here – let’s talk about Adam’s ROLE in the fall.
Where was he?
Why did he let her eat of the fruit?
Why did he LISTEN to her when she said to eat it?
Adam ABDICATED his responsibility. If he had done his job, Eve might not have sinned.
When she did – he BLAMED her. He BLAMED God.
This is not what leadership is. In fact –
Leadership is RESPONSIBILITY.
If someone in your family screws up, you’re responsible to make it right.
Leadership is about SERVICE.
“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:25-28 NIV
Leadership is NOT Lordship.
Nor is it exclusive to men. You don’t have to be “the boss” to be a leader. And in your homes – while I do believe there is a biblical order in which the father and husband has authority – this does not mean that women are not leaders! –
If we look at the Bible’s picture of the ideal woman in Proverbs 31 – it’s very clear that a woman has leadership too. We lead together.
But as a man – I bear more responsibility.
Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.”
2 Samuel 10:12 NIV
The King James Version says: “Be of good courage, and let us play the men for our people”