Josh McDonald in Appleton Wisconsin of the Geocaching Scripture Podcast talks about “The Hall of Faith” in Hebrews 11, threatens to punch us in the face of we call it that, and talks about the goal of being forgotten.
Spring is in the air. The smell of mud and the opening of tree buds just seems to wake up not only the world outside our windows, but it seems to awaken something in us.
Men, let’s take advantage of the natural cycle of the universe to reinvigorate our lives!
Start by refreshing your mind.
1. Read Books. Are there books that would help you to break through any particular areas of your life? Any information that you need to learn?
To refresh your mind, I recommend reading a book of fiction – something exciting and adventurous. Something non-fiction – maybe self-help, or a biography of someone you admire. And read a book of poetry! You might not be a poetry person – but I think there’s value in the rhymes and rhythms.
2. Take inventory. Examine your attitude. Examine your behaviors. Examine your influences. What things need to change? Make a physical list of things to change, and start making it happen.
3. Get aggressive. If you notice that you have been negative – make it a point to fight against the negative thoughts, replacing them with positive thoughts. Make a concerted effort to practice rebuking each bad thought. (out loud, if you have to!) “No. I will not think like this way!”
Reboot Your Body
I’m in the process of losing weight – and so I’m particularly aware of my body right now.
But i do know this – our bodies do respond to the seasons! During the winter time, it’s not unusual to pack on a few extra pounds, as we fight off the cold and are often less active.
A reboot in the spring is a great way to get things moving, and add a little more energy into your life as a whole.
I’ve found that adding movement to my routine helps me to fight off depression, keeps my focus on track, and just in general, makes me feel better!
Here are some tips for your body reboot.
1. Revisit your eating plan.
If you aren’t regularly tracking your calories, tracking them at least for a few weeks gives you a good snapshot of what your diet looks like, and if you need to adjust it. Use an app like fitbit or myfitness pal to see how many calories you should be eating, and how many you are eating. Remember – if weight loss is your goal, you have to burn more than you take in. If you want to bulk up- you’ll need to make adjustments to your diet as well. Consider paying a few bucks to meet with a nutritionist.
2. Fasting
This isn’t for everybody – but many people say that a three day fast from solid food, or maybe fasting from a particular kind of food for a week helps them to reset their cravings. There are some mental and spiritual benefits too, as the act of delaying your cravings tends to build a different layer of focus in your life. Don’t try this if you have any health issues, or without talking to a doctor.
3. Change your workout.
Fitness folks call them “plateaus” – those times when you stop losing weight (or stop building muscle) despite all your hard work. Sometimes, you need to radically change your routine to shock your body back into performance mode.
I’ve found in general, if I do the same thing all the time, I get bored with it anyway.
Take a hike instead of the treadmill. Swim instead of yoga. Mix up your strength training to try something different.
Reimagine Your Situation
The winter is in your mind.
You know those times when everything has gone WRONG for so long, and you feel like you just can’t get a win? When you’re tired of just going through the motions? When you feel weary from the road?
Take a minute and fast forward to your desired outcome. What does your life look like if you were to lose the weight? What does your marriage look like if you fix the problems? What do your kids look like when they grow up?
Try not to imagine the worst case scenario, but the best one. Then trace your steps back to where you are standing. What steps do you have to make to get there? What changes do you have to make? What sacrifices and hard work will you have to put in?
These rough patches sometimes feel permanent -but they usually aren’t. Especially if you are taking the time to imagine a better path, and to make the changes and put in the work to get there.
Reignite Your Spirit
Many men have a hard time with the spiritual. They struggle with the idea that spirit exists. Why? Because it’s not knowable. It’s not tangible. And talk of the spiritual gets muddied up by 18 million different religious viewpoints.
I may subscribe to one of those viewpoints, and I’m sure my writing will reflect it. But I’m not here to preach about why my viewpoint is right and others are wrong. (even if I do believe so)
What I’m here to do – is to tell you that the spiritual is real, and you’ve got to keep that fire going. Inside each of us is a spirit that drives us. It’s fueled by creativity, art, poetry, beauty. It’s fueled by thought, conversation, reading.
If you neglect the spiritual part of you, the rest of you will feel hungry for purpose and passion.
How do you reignite it, after a long “winter”?
1. Do what makes you feel alive.
I’m not saying, “ do whatever you want” or “just make yourself happy”
I’m saying, there are moments in your life when you felt alive. For me – it’s often when I’m performing music on stage, speaking to a large group of people, hiking in the woods, or writing. You might feel alive tossing the football in the backyard, hunting that big buck, or building a house. Take some time to identify what makes you feel alive – and do more of it.
2. Define or revisit your code.
Spirituality has a code of ethics. That’s why religion usually has a list of do’s and don’ts…. Because morality is closely tied with the spiritual. I know. People don’t like to think about it. I’ve already lost some of you – who can’t handle the fact that anyone would dare tell you to be moral. Take the time to define your code of ethics, or to revisit that code to make sure it lines up with who you are.
3. Try something new.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone, and doing something NEW can give you a fresh perspective, and open you up to seeing things from a spiritual perspective. I think the thrill of pushing yourself a little harder, coupled with the rewards of a calculated risk can often help you see things in a new light.
Spring is here. It’s time for a renewal. Why not take this time to renew yourself as well?
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher talks about what it means to be a Gatekeeper.
Men have a special role in their families that they often neglect. There are outside forces that influence your families – and what comes into your home needs to go through you. You are the keeper of the gate – the man who determines what influences are allowed to pass through.
Media
The truth is – our culture has a number of voices shouting a number of messages – many of them are contrary to the values that we have established in our homes. I know our values are different from home to home – but I often wonder why if we have ever thought about just what those values are – and if we have thought about what an impact opposing voices can have on our values.
For example – if you have daughters, you may want them to keep their sexuality reserved for later in life. We want them to be valued for their minds, and not their bodies. We want them to see their natural beauty, and know that they aren’t supposed to be measured by what society determines is beautiful – And yet – we allow them to listen to music that is encouraging a different attitude about sexuality, and we allow them to watch movies that demean women, and we let them read magazines that reinforce false ideas about real beauty.
We raise our sons to exercise self-control – and yet we allow them to watch television shows that portray a lack of self-control as a noble thing.
Let me encourage you to be the gatekeeper in your home. Identify what truths and values you want to uphold – and limit media that contradicts this. It doesn’t mean you have to shut all media out – and some media can be countered with lots of good conversation about your values – but some things just don’t have business in your homes! Your family may HATE you for enforcing family “censorship” – but if you are careful, and if you communicate clearly, and compassionately – I think you’ll be able to smooth that out.
Mindsets
Mindsets are like fortresses. The way a person thinks will determine the life he lives.
As a gatekeeper – it’s your job to understand the way your family thinks – and to correct the attitudes that you see that are contrary to the truth, and to your values.
If your daughter says, “I am so ugly.” It’s up to you to correct that, and tell her the truth.
If your son displays a negative attitude about doing his chores – you need to correct that.
If YOU have a bad attitude – you need to correct that.
You can try to correct behavior – but long before behavior happens, a mindset happens. You can not only correct bad mindsets, but you can build good mindsets, by speaking the truth at every opportunity!
Mouths
Mindsets are not only revealed by speech and behaviors – but they are sometimes established because of them.
It’s up to you to determine which words you allow to be spoken in your home. Don’t allow your family to insult each other – or to denigrate themselves or others.
Many families have made “Shutup” or “Stupid” bad words. You might find yourself correcting your kids when they insult each other – or your spouse when she says “I can’t”….
Regardless – you need to take your role seriously as a gatekeeper – so that your home is a haven for the kind of speech that builds each other up.
Money
I’ll be honest – I’m not the greatest at numbers or managing money – but my wife and I have a system that works – and she handles most of the financial duties. We discuss it together, and we make decisions together – but we work according to our strengths to get things done.
What are your financial values? How will you spend your money? Do you have a budget? The way you manage your money will influence the way your children manage theirs. So setting an example now will make a difference later.
I’d encourage you to check out Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, or some other similar program so that you can learn some financial management principles.
But the basic principles you should understand:
You will never have “enough” money. If you make more, you spend more. So use what you have wisely.
Live within your means. If you aren’t, you have to spend less, or make more.
Debt is expensive. It costs a LOT to borrow.
Charity reminds us to treasure what we have
Nothing is an emergency if you plan for it.
Media / Mindsets /.Mouths / Math – As the Gatekeeper in your home – all of these things have to get by you. It’s up to you to draw lines, keep the riff raff out, and to protect your family from harmful influences on the outside, and from harmful attitudes and behaviours on the inside.
In this episode of the Manlihood Mancast, Josh Hatcher talks about the question of WHEN.
It’s really a question of when.
When to be vulnerable / when to be tough.
If you’ve listened to my other podcasts, you know I’m not a fan of the word vulnerable. I prefer authenticity. But that’s another episode, and you can go listen to it yourself.
For the sake of clarity – let’s use the use the word vulnerable.
When should you be vulnerable, and show your weaknesses, and how does that contrast to when you should steel your resolve and show your strength?
I think it’s important to have a trusted circle of people who see and know your struggles and your vulnerabilities. Even men need a friend they can cry with on a very rare occasion. You don’t have to trust EVERYBODY. But you should be working on building the kind of relationships that support your vulnerabilities. Think about a Danish Shield Wall on the battlefield. They’re all pretty exposed from behind, but they work together to fend off attackers.
Sometimes, you have to suck it up. You have to put the emotion and the weakness on the shelf, and face the battles head on.
Understanding WHEN is sometimes harder than doing it. I think the decision has to be made in a way with the people you are with in mind. Are they trustworthy? Do they have your back? Do you legitimately need help from them?
You can’t live your life as an island, portraying a false image of yourself as strong all the time. At the same time, you can’t constantly be an emotional ball of wax, melting at the slightest offense or struggle, and unable to function. (Sometimes, you just might be that. And it’s okay to ask for help. But it’s not okay to stay there.)
The answer here has more to do with who you trust and who you surround yourself with, than it does with you. When do you be tough? When you can! When do you be vulnerable? When you NEED to be, and only with those you can trust. And if you aren’t building those relationships with people – they won’t be there when you need them.
When to be quiet / when to speak up
Sometimes, the question of when has to do with when do I open my mouth to speak? When do I point out what I perceive to be true, when it seems to be none of my business?
This one is not ever easy, and the scale is sliding.
Start by measuring things within the context of relationships. Does the thing I have to say HELP someone? Does the thing I have to say HURT someone? Weigh it carefully, because sometimes it does both.
Someone is in danger – a kid, an abused spouse, etc… always say something! Someone looks ugly – probably should never say something!
Someone is correcting their kid harshly, but not abusing them… it depends on your relationship with them if you should call them out. (Definitely in private, though!)
Also – speak up in person. Not via text message. Don’t think that confronting someone over text will ever go well. It almost never does. Text doesn’t have tone. Text doesn’t have body language or eye contact, so your message can be reinterpreted differently.
While I tend to be a person who calls people on their crap, and the friend that lets the other friend know he has a booger on his face – I’ve found that in general, I need to shut up more.
You may be someone who needs to speak up more, rather than shut up. I wish I could tell you the exact answer on this one – but I’ll tell you this.
Make sure that your motivation is good. Speak because you care about people. Speak with the goal of fixing things. Speak with honesty AND love in mind.
We know MacArthur for his famous quote, “I Shall Return” – but I think we may be a generation separated from the story of MacArthur’s resolve. Who was this man among men, and why does he hold such reverence in the hearts of the old-timers? According to Wikipedia: Douglas MacArthur (26 January 1880 – 5 April 1964) was an American five-star general and field marshal of the Philippine Army. He was Chief of Staff of the United States Army during the 1930s and played a prominent role in the Pacific theater during World War II. He received the Medal of Honor for his service in the Philippines Campaign, which made him and his father Arthur MacArthur, Jr., the first father and son to be awarded the medal. He was one of only five men ever to rise to the rank of General of the Army in the US Army, and the only man ever to become a field marshal in the Philippine Army.
MacArthur was recalled to active duty in 1941 as commander of United States Army Forces in the Far East. A series of disasters followed, starting with the destruction of his air forces on 8 December 1941, and the invasion of the Philippines by the Japanese. MacArthur’s forces were soon compelled to withdraw to Bataan, where they held out until May 1942. In March 1942, MacArthur, his family and his staff left nearby Corregidor Island in PT boats and escaped to Australia, where MacArthur became Supreme Commander, Southwest Pacific Area. Upon his arrival in Australia, MacArthur gave a speech in which he famously promised “I shall return” to the Philippines. For his defense of the Philippines, MacArthur was awarded the Medal of Honor. After more than two years of fighting in the Pacific, he fulfilled a promise to return to the Philippines. He officially accepted Japan’s surrender on 2 September 1945, aboard USS Missourianchored in Tokyo Bay, and oversaw the occupation of Japan from 1945 to 1951. As the effective ruler of Japan, he oversaw sweeping economic, political and social changes. He led the United Nations Commandin the Korean War until he was removed from command by President Harry S. Truman on 11 April 1951. He later became Chairman of the Board of Remington Rand.
Check out these quotes from the General. Old soldiers never die; they just fade away.
-General Douglas MacArthur
There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.
-General Douglas MacArthur
In war there is no substitute for victory.
-General Douglas MacArthur
You are remembered for the rules you break.
-General Douglas MacArthur
Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.
-General Douglas MacArthur
The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.
-General Douglas MacArthur
It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it.
-General Douglas MacArthur
We are not retreating – we are advancing in another direction.
-General Douglas MacArthur
The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself.
-General Douglas MacArthur
In war, you win or lose, live or die – and the difference is just an eyelash.
If you look around, it’s hard to believe that our peoples were once savage warriors, hard working farmers, and capable of lifting a finger to do anything other than turn on the TV.
Men, inside, you know you were made for more. You were made to be bold, brave, and fierce. To be a gentlemen doesn’t mean that you are weak. It means your strength is tempered with self-control.
Every New Year, talk of resolutions start surfacing. In this blog series, we’ll identify what it takes to make a fresh start, and to resolve to change your life permanently.
You cannot be a new man overnight. You may find redemption and have it applied in an instant. Forgiveness can be quick…. But change, my brother, takes time. There are always exceptions. Men who quit smoking cold turkey. Men who were knocked off a horse and blinded and went from killing Christians to serving them. Yes, sometimes change is instant. But most of the time, change is the result of consistent baby steps. You don’t lose 100 pounds overnight. You don’t change your mindset in an instant. You also don’t change (for the better) by accident.
As you look at the man you want to be, set your goals. Give them a realistic time frame, and then take the time to lay out the steps it will take to get there. You want to quit drinking soda. But you keep coming back to it. So set a date. In six months, I want to be soda free. Then make a plan for how you are going to get there. Maybe a step down to diet soda. Then maybe once a week instead of once a day. Give each step a time frame. You want to be a more positive person? Great. That’s a lot harder to quantize. Maybe you start by saying, “I will say ten positive things today.” Make sure that your “gains” are marked by incremental milestones. Make sure you celebrate those milestones! If your resolution is fuzzy, and requires you to instantly be something that you are not yet, your resolve will get weary, and you’ll never change.